A Comment on Comments; Old People Edition

A Comment on Comments

A Comment on Comments

When I posted the video from my show of the song “Old People,” I expected both positive and negative feedback. The song is based on Randy Newman’s 1977 hit “Short People” and all I did was change the lyrics around to explain how it feels for me to wait on certain old people. It’s rude, crude, mean and the epitome of what Bitchy Waiter stands for. Well, plenty of people took offense and I must respond to some of the comments because it appears that a sense of humor is lacking for many individuals.

Marilyn says: We are all going to get old one day remember that be kind and there on a fixed income too.

Marilyn, let me tell you three things: Number one, I am less than three years away from getting my AARP card so I’m not exactly a spring chicken. The second thing I want to tell you is to please learn what the fuck punctuation is for. The third thing is “they’re.”

Mary says: I normally think you’re witty, funny and on point. This was meant I’m sure to be tongue in cheek, but cruel and harsh. Not so funny.

Mary, this is called parody or satire. The song, the Facebook page, the blog and everything else about Bitchy Waiter is a representation of what so many servers are thinking. It is not an actual account of how I behave while at work. Duh.

Mark says: You think you’re not going to be old?? Can’t wait. You will probably be the worst because I can tell you are a cry baby little cunt!! I’m 67 and would love to meet you in the ally and kick your stupid little ass!!

I think Mark is grumpy because he lost one of the tennis balls that goes on the leg of his walker or he’s upset that he let his coupon for Old Country Buffet expire. He threatens to meet me in an ally, but he does not specify which one. Ally McBeal? Ally Sheedy? Which Ally? And how exactly will we get inside this Ally person? Typically, I do not enjoy getting inside a woman Ally or otherwise. I may be a cry baby little cunt, but you are very unclear with your threats. By the time I’m 67, Mark will probably be in Hell sitting alone at a six-top waiting for his server to bring him a glass of water with no ice because the cold water makes his teeth hurt.

Arletta says: Old people have no reason to live? Are you aware that the highest rate of suicide in America is among the elderly? I guess you would find that funny too.

Arletta, who has the oldest old lady name I have ever heard of, is mistaken of her facts. According to American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, in 2011, the highest suicide rate (18.6) was among people 45 to 64 years old. The second highest rate (16.9) occurred in those 85 years and older. Close, Arletta, but no cigar. Besides, if Randy Newman can say that “short people have no reason to live,” why can’t I say that about old people? Again, it’s just a fucking joke, so have another hard candy and move on.

My favorite comments came from David. He left many and each one got more and more amusing. You should also know that David has a severe addiction to comma usage.

David says: This is an awful statement to make,not all old people,do not tip well,or are hard to please,but because of this statement,I will be in the future,you best retract this add.

So David is letting us all know that he will change his behavior to live up to the expectation that I have set for him. Don’t you think he would do more for his cause by continuing to debunk the myth that seniors are cheap and difficult to please? I do, but if wants to perpetuate the stereotype, by all means, please do so.

You will be old some day,I hope someone will talk about you ,in the same way,I have had many bitchy waiters,but still tip no more,this is an insult to all seniors ,even the ones who tip 20%you are very rude and deserve all the no tippers.

I don’t need to wait until I am old to have people talk about me. It happens right now on my very own Facebook page. I ignore the things I don’t like. Any senior who is insulted by this song need to learn to laugh at themselves.

Bitch waiter,you have lost me, with your add slamming seniors,so you deserve all you get,I am insulted and always tip 20% or more, well now I will act like the seniors you slammed and referred to us as fucking old people!seeking lawyer for lawsuit ,unless you aplogise, to me.

So now David wants to sue me for hurting his feelings, but if I apologize, he will drop the case. I am not apologizing to some old fart who doesn’t know the difference between a donut and a hemorrhoid pillow. If you find a lawyer who is willing to take this case, I hope it’s a class action suit so every senior citizen in the country can get a piece of all of my worth. They can cut up my apron into 40.3 million pieces and then sew it back together in a craft circle and make a fucking pot holder out of it.

Know we don’t like being called fucking old people,the f word was not needed,just wait to you get old ,which comes faster then you think,if a person is rude or cheap at tipping,it doesn’t matter their age,you hypocrites,wish I knew where you worked so I could notify,the owner of the restaurant,what low life servers you have,if you don’t like your job,get out of the business.

News flash, David; both of my jobs already know about this Facebook page and my blog and some of my co-workers, customers and bosses even came to the show. You know why? Because they understand what a fucking joke is, that’s why.

Get off my page,just a bunch of rude people who are in the wrong business.

Bless his little pacemaker heart, not understanding how Facebook works.

The best comment of all came from Steven. He is the guy who I specifically called out as an old person at 4:05 and apologized for offending him. He is a good friend and co-worker. He gets it.

Steven says: Hey wait! I am the OLD GUY the BW apologized to in his show. I was laughing my way to my next golden year. This guy with the lawsuit ain’t gonna know what hit him with the Bitchy Waiter gets done with him. I can’t wait! Let the ENTERTAINMENT go on!!

Thank you to everyone who liked the video and for those of you who didn’t like it, you can take an extra dose of Ovaltine and kindly move on from the page.

 

Discussion

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