Yes, you are seeing two Comment on Comments posts in as many days because there are so many comments that need to be responded to that I cannot restrain myself. You see, I am a giver and when I notice someone who needs to have some sense bitch-slapped into their head, I want to be the one to do it. On Sunday, I posted a picture on the Bitchy Waiter Facebook Page of what a table looked like after some kids left it. The photo was sent to me by a reader who told me it was a group of kids and parents who came into eat after a soccer game. The photo shows a couple of pint glasses that have been stuffed with leftover food. I added the tagline, “If you let your kids do this in a restaurant, then you pretty much suck at parenting.” The photo was “liked” by over 5,500 people, shared by over 1,110 and seen by almost 150,000. It also generated 376 comments. I stand behind the caption and most people agreed with the sentiment. Some people didn’t.
Here are a few of my favorite comments along with my response:
Lindsay says: You shouldn’t hate the kids. They can’t help they are being raised by inconsiderate assholes. Sad part is, they probably have no chance and will grow up to be just like them, being that is all they know. I agree, Lindsay, that I should not hate the kids. The problem is though, that I do. I do hate the kids. A lot.
Amanda says: I will strike a child… While this may seem extreme, at least we know where Amanda stands. I myself would never think it is okay to strike a child. I prefer a more passive approach like giving the child a steak knife or an open bottle of Tabasco sauce and hoping for the best.
Becky says: I bet they aren’t bitching when they are counting their tips. I don’t let me kids do that or act like brats anywhere but I think it’s just as selfish to assume people with kids who don’t act like jerks, should adhere to YOUR needs just because they are kids. Hey, Becky, as long as this page has the word “bitchy” in it, I will keep bitching. The point of the photo is that it shows parents are either unaware of what their children are doing or they don’t care what their children are doing. In my opinion, both of those are indicators of poor parenting.
Stacy says: It takes you zero seconds to dump it all in the garbage. No. Parents don’t suck at parenting for this. They just don’t revere your selfish little bubble. Okay, maybe it doesn’t mean they suck at all parenting, but it does show a lapse in judgment. No one was complaining about how long it takes to clean the mess. The point is it shouldn’t happen in the first place. And it does take more than zero seconds to dump that into the garbage. Zero seconds would be this weird time warp thing that does not exist except in a time/space continumm or the Back to the Future movies.
Joe says: Put yer big girl panties on and do your job. If this is the worst thing to happen in your day be thankful. Don’t like cleaning tables after kids? find a new job. Quityerbitchin and get on with it. I do not wear “big girl panties” because I am a man. I wear big boy underwear, asshole.
Diane says: As a server, why where you not attentive enough to clear there plates before they could do this?!?! First off, the word you are looking for is “their” and not “there.” Second of all, so it’s the server’s fault that this happened? Even if you expect your server to stand at attention behind the table during the whole course of your meal, the supervision of children still falls under the jurisdiction of the parents. And how do you know the server didn’t try to remove the food only to have the parent screech, “Don’t take that! He’s not done yet!”
Kapn says: Suck at parenting? Leave them home? Get the fuck over yourselves. And do your fucking job. Bitchy children, the lot of you. Glad I didn’t follow this page and I just saw it on my feed. Your all a bunch of jokes. Kapn, you clearly have an issue with vowels, because you left off the “e” in “you’re” and your name is weird as fuck.
Roger says: Oh shit food in a glass, what shit parents!! Stow your bitching. Glad you didnt do this while your awesome parents ruled the world and equiped you with the skills you needed to go far as a 30 year old server. Okay, did this asshole just insult my parents? I think he did. The photo didn’t insult anyone in particular and anyone who was offended by it simply saw themselves in it. My parents are awesome and they support me in everything I have ever done. They know I am a writer and actor who waits tables. I own my own apartment in New York City, I travel whenever I want, and have been with the same man for 23 years, so I think they did an excellent job in teaching me how to be a successful adult. And, by the way, I am a 46 year-old server, but thank you for thinking I am 16 years younger than I actually am, you dick.
Lee says: If you are over 20 and bussing tables you shouldn’t be worrying about the paying costumer sucking at parenting because you simply suck at life. Lee, if you are over 20, you should know the difference between a customer and costumer.
Lana says: This is why restaurants need to have activities and crayons for kids to keep them busy and not take a hour to bring food out. Why does the restaurant need to provide that crap? If you’re going to roll that ridiculously gigantic stroller into the restaurant, surely there must be room in it for your own fucking Crayon. If not, then shove it up your twat, Lana. And if the restaurant you are eating in takes over an hour for your food to arrive, I’d find a new place to eat. Either that, or teach your kids what patience is.
Greg says: Look.at this.page and then ponder “why should these people care about my.poor life choices?” I.don’t Think. I understand what.you.are saying.”.”
Gabriela says: Seriously? How hard is it? *take cup poor in bucket* wow. So fucking hard. I’m an ex server and a parent of a messy baby. Fuck you for saying parents suck because their kids are creative. Jeez. Having your child dump pasta into a glass of iced tea at a restaurant is not being creative, it’s being disrespectful. If you want your child to be creative with food, let them do it at your house. Why don’t you just give them a bag of flour and some maple syrup and send them off to your living room to be as creative as they want. Fuck you for saying fuck me for saying parents suck when they clearly suck.
Julie says: The heading is “If you let your kid do this in a restaurant, then you pretty much suck at parenting” That is very true as you have not taught your child respect or manners or the inability to behave in an appropriate manner. If you don’t think this is funny then your parents may be the ones who should be being targeted by this meme. Julie wins the Internet for today.
Thank you all for the comments!
Naomi
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Dsolo
BW,
I love your blog! When I am not slinging food to the general public, I am bored as hell at my office job. I pass the time by reading your stuff. It’s hilarious and accurate.As far as the messy kids/shitty parents, I have a family(spanning 3 generations)that comes in every weekend to my establishment. They always trash the place so the host, and pretty much every other coworker and customer, hates their presence. The final straw happened the other day when they began to change one of their kids diapers at the table. Diapers at the table! Its amazing what people think is okay. Anyway, keep up the good work.
Erin
1) The people who are saying that BW is rude for saying these parents suck: I would love to call THOSE people’s parents and ask them how THEY raised their kids. I was expected to sit my butt in the seat, not get up and stare at the people in the booth behind me (SO HARD when you’re 3), be quiet, and eat my food. No running around, no throwing shit on the floor, no screaming.
2) Kids are absolutely capable of behaving well if they are raised to do so. I agree with another commenter who said it’s not their fault they’re being raised by assholes and that’s all they know (and I agreed with BW’s response). But regardless of whose fault it is, it’s annoying as fuck. I hate the way most kids behave but 99% of the time you can see exactly whose fault it is (parents, I’m lookin at you!). I’ve met some really awesome kids and usually it’s because the parents are busting their butts.
3) Finally, do people NOT understand that their babies/toddlers are going to absolutely lose it if they don’t get their usual nap?! I go to Disney and see these people dragging their kids all over the parks all day, then they don’t understand why little Timmy has a meltdown at dinner. BECAUSE HE NEEDED A NAP BUT YOU WOULDN’T TAKE HIM BACK TO THE HOTEL FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS!!! I don’t even have kids and I can connect the dots.
Kids are really hard work. You have to make sacrifices and be the bad guy sometimes. Unfortunately, a lot of people seem really surprised by that when they have kids.
Bob
6 days without a post? I want my money back!
Jory
I’m a new reader and I LOVE your blog. I have woken my husband up a couple times these past few nights by laughing out loud while reading your posts. I served tables for 12 years until just recently. I wanted to quit pretty much every day, but reading your stories almost makes me miss it…almost. I completely agree that it’s bad parenting letting your kid make a huge mess at a restaurant. Honestly though, I let my maniac of a one year old make a mess with crackers once. It was that or she would scream her head off and ruin everyone else’s meal…I chose what I thought to be the lesser of two evils. I did my best to clean it up, apologized and left a nice tip. She is two now and already knows better than to make a mess when we are out, so there is definitely no excuse for older children.
Barrina
This brings me back to the hotel restaurant I worked in, which was a favorite place for lots of big families to hold lots of big family events. Many a night cleaning in the wee hours of the morning (even though the restaurant closed at 10:00) cleaning squashed vegetables out of the carpet, greasy everything off the 13-foot long table, and dried soda off of the walls.
Mangler
On occasion, parents with toddlers would be apologetic for the mess that was made, and they would put some effort into cleaning up behind the little ones. That never really bothered me, because some effort was made at not leaving a complete disaster zone behind. And typically when those parents had been servers at some point, their tips would actually more than make up for the extra few minutes it took me to get the area turn ready.
However, most of the time, the parents would walk away crunching on whatever food items the little one had thrown everywhere acting like it was perfectly OK to leave a table looking like a trailer park after a hurricane.
When it was kids old enough to know better, I’d actually bring the broom and dust pan to the table and hand it to them. Believe it or not, the parents never got upset at me for that. Besides, I already knew if the tip was going to be lacking, so I could take a little more risk with them at that point.
Meg
I am a mother of 3, and a server. I try not to take all of my kids out at once, mainly because I have an 18 month old little boy, who is perfect at home, and a terror out in public. When people bring their snot nosed bratty children into my job, (I work in a Southern Luncheon Style Tea Room) I actually avoid eye contact with anyone affiliated, in fear of having to be the server that has to clean up the angel hair pasta with marinara, that they will insist on ordering for their tiny demons, off of the taffeta layered ceiling. It does not matter how well behaved and well mannered you sweet little angel is. It is never ideal to order your child anything with ranch dressing either. Not even if they were “perfect at Nana’s for Thanksgiving last year.
trish
I have kids, and I’m a server. I do not hate or even dislike most children, but I cannot STAND the parents who allow their children to do this in a restaurant. Would you allow your child to do this at home? Is it usually ok for them to dump all their food on the dining room table or floor and unscrew the salt and pepper shakers and pour those out, as well? No? WELL IT ISN’T OK AT A RESTAURANT, EITHER! It is disrespectful and selfish to allow your kid to do as he pleases simply because you know someone else has to clean it up. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been out to eat and our server has commented on my children’s good manners, because well behaved children are NOT that common, unfortunately.
Slightly Cranky
Okay, so I’m WAY behind the times here – I’m seriously years behind on my blog reading. But I’ve been catching up on your blog, and now I’m sitting here sniffling at my desk job because I just read about Sherman – and because when I got to the bottom of that post I seriously thought I was fucking hallucinating because I have almost an identical picture of my Ava, who I also lost last year. Same haircut, same expression, same color …. Sherman and Ava could have been twins. Maybe they met in doggy heaven and are comparing notes on their bitchy waiter/waitress owners. 🙂
On a more timely note – fuck the fucking fuckers who let their fucking children do that fucking shit!
The Bitchy Waiter
Thank you! I miss that little dog. I hope he’s playing with Ava right now, but knowing Sherman, he is probably ignoring her.
juneaugurl2
OMG. I work in retail and have had the pleasure of PARENTS letting their kids pee and puke on the floor. They get mad because we hand them a paper towel to clean it up. They expect us to do it. Nope! It’s a health hazard, can’t do it! 🙂 Company does not want to pay for me getting sick by handling that stuff. I would be embarrassed if my kids did that! I’d make the bus the table, LOL.
monica
“They just don’t revere your selfish little bubble.”
not everyone who accuses others of living in a selfish little bubble lives in a selfish little bubble, but everyone who lives in selfish little bubble accuses others of living in selfish little bubbles. a common symptom of living in a selfish little bubble is assuming that the work of people “beneath” them (like waiters, cashiers, receptionists) should only take “zero seconds”
great blog, just found it a couple days ago – looking forward to catching up
Becks
I have never been a waitress. I worked retail in a toy store for a couple of years and that was bad enough. People are rude as fuck when they know someone else has to clean up after them. Bitchy, you have the patience of a saint not to have strangled some of the entitled fucks that walk through your door (and from what I’ve read in the past, presumably a liver of steel to take all that booze lol)
anita k
amen!
pleased
We teach our child that food is not a toy and it is wrong to be wasteful. He doesn’t have to clean his plate but he is not allowed to be disrespectful with food when so many people aren’t lucky enough to even have leftovers. This is my take away from the OP.
lexi
I love you more and more with every post! As the parent of an extra messy 8 month old baby who I take out with us a lot, I go to kid friendly places and always take responsibility for cleaning up after my son. If he drops shit all over and makes a mess, I grab a wipe and clean up as much as I can not leave it for my server. We are there to serve you food not be your fuckin maid! If you can’t control your child or take responsibility for their mess then stay your ass home where your disrespectful ass belongs. And BTW, I hate everyone’s kids but my own so I don’t blame you for hating kids! Lol keep doing what you do you’re hilarious 🙂
monica
“And BTW, I hate everyone’s kids but my own so I don’t blame you for hating kids!”
dear god thank you for being honest. i know way too many moms who seem to think they’re evil for not finding everything every child in the world has ever done and said the cutest thing they’ve ever heard or seen.
Nala
Yes its our job to clean up, but basically those who were offended must not parent thier children. Just because someone is cleaning up after you doesnt mean you can destroy the place. And as far as the tip goes anyone inconsiderate enough to let thier kids do that dont tip enough to compensate for it. Just because people tip they think you are their slave. We are servers not servants.
anne marie
I hate kids also. this pix made me wanna hurl. entitled douchebags are everywhere!
Lynn
You own an apartment in NYC? I didnt even think was possible.
Also, my boyfriend works at a place that doesnt have high chairs, booster seats, or kid menus? Want to take your kids to a place that has big ticket items, kids are going to have to learn how to conduct themselves. This place also doesnt offer to-go….and they make about $200 a shift (that goes from 6pm-10pm). Heaven?
BobbyAnn
You lost me at the first response. You never said anything about the kids in the post – just the parents, but you had to go on and vehemently state how much you hate the kids.
I love you 99.9% of the time, but I stopped reading this response half way through because you are using your responses to bait these people even more. Is it the same tired stuff you usually say in retaliation? Yes, but this just went over the top.
We get it, you hate kids. We also know you treat them with respect, up to a point. But this was ugly, even for you.
FWIW – I completely agreed with your post and it is absolutely the parents’ fault.
The Bitchy Waiter
Thank you, Bobby Ann.
sally
Hey BobbyAnn guess what? I hate kids too, particularly your kids.
Joeinvegas
And thank you for your comments on comments. Almost better than the regular posts. Ok, just as good.