Worlds’s Most Desperate Blogger (and It’s Not Me)

sarah-lockhard

Desperate blogger, Sarah Lockard

I call myself a blogger and I am the first one to admit that I shamelessly promote myself almost to the point of nausea. It’s not easy being a D-List blogger and craving to be on the C-List. This week, another D-List blogger stooped even lower than I ever have (not really) and did something that I have never thought of doing. I don’t know if she makes me sick with her self-serving needs or if I have a severe case of the envy’s since I didn’t think of it first.

A woman named Sarah Lockhard (see photo) runs a website called AroundMainLine.com which has its own Facebook page with 5,074 followers and Twitter account with 9,600 followers. This week, Sarah decided that rather than cook her own Christmas Eve dinner or go out and pay for one with her own money, she would send out an email to Philadelphia restaurants and give them the chance to host her family for dinner in exchange for some really awesome perks. Here is the email she sent out:

From: Sarah Lockard
Date: December 9, 2013 at 9:17:32 PM EST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: Host the Awesome Lockards on Christmas Eve!

Good Evening!!!

Every Christmas Eve my family enjoys an amazing night dining out and this year I am offering you the exciting opportunity to be our restaurant that hosts us!

The host restaurant will receive approximately $1,000 in PR with AML:

1) 2 Facebook posts on AML’s Facebook page promoting t (sic)

2) 5 instagram photos during the dining experience

3) 2 AML enewsletter (sic) ads in Jan and Feb 2014 (reaches over 3,000 unique individuals)

4) listed in our Christmas Eve dining guide published Dec 10th, 2013 on AML.

We are asking for the following in turn:

Dinner for 5 drinks and food compensated, we will tip according to the value to the server.

This is a VERY innovative and effective way to promote your restaurant on this very competitive evening and reach tens of thousands of local foodies through AML’s channels.

Please note this is first come, first serve.

I am excited to hear from you!

Be THE top restaurant we recommend this Christmas Eve to our HUGE audience!!!!

Your friend,
Sarah

So let me get this straight. Sarah thinks that her massive audience of social media followers is enough to influence restaurant owners to give her and her family of five free dinner and drinks on Christmas Eve when chances are pretty good that every restaurant open on Christmas Eve will already be packed? She claims it’s approximately $1000 worth of free PR, but I don’t see how that adds up.

  • Two posts on her Facebook page of over 5000 people but only has 63 people “talking about it.” That means that no one gives a shit about your Facebook page, Sarah. Worth: $10.
  • Five Instagram photos as they eat, like anyone wants to see some amateur food porn of a slice of ham covered in gravy. If anyone wants to see that, they can go look at Kim Kardashian’s Instagram and admire any one of her endless selfies. Worth: $5.00
  • Two ads in her “enewsletter” which is probably an email that goes right into a spam folder. Worth: $2.00.
  • Listed in her Christmas Eve dining guide to be published December 10th, 2013 on her website but if it was going to be listed on December 10th and she sent the email out on December 9th at 9:17 PM, I hope those restaurants snapped up their golden opportunity. Worth: -$17.00.

Grand total of worth: ZERO.

I just love how she refers to her family as “awesome” like that will make restaurant owners want to pour free booze down their awesome throats. And her use of exclamation points makes my eyes hurt!! At least she mentions the tip, but it’s a bit vague, don’t you think? I don’t know what tipping “according to the value to the server” even means, but I have a feeling it’s not good. Since the whole thing was a first come, first serve chance, who knows who the lucky winner was. According to reports, she has not responded to comments and I can’t imagine that anyone took her up on the offer.

However, if they did, please read following:

Hey, my name is Bitchy Waiter and I want your restaurant to host me for a Christmas Eve cocktail. All you have to do is pour me drinks until I am sufficiently buzzed and in that perfect place between a happy drunk and a mean one. In exchange for the cocktails, I will drunk-live-Tweet about it and then put  a picture of myself on my Facebook page trying to hold in a burp after my seventh margarita. I’m not awesome, but my hair is!!! I will not put any ads up on my page because I don’t really know how to do that but I do promise to not throw up in your bathroom. First come, first serve but I’m not limited to just one restaurant. I can go to however many are are willing to supply me with drinks. (The later in the evening it goes, the less I am willing to stand behind that whole “I promise to not throw up in your bathroom” thing.)

I am excited to hear from you!

Discussion

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