The 5 Best Things About Being a Server

It's not all bad.

It’s not all bad.

I get a lot of questions each day, both in my real life and my life as The Bitchy Waiter: Is that your real hair? Why does you always smell like alcohol? Can I get fries with that? But the question I get asked the most is this one: if all you do is bitch about waiting tables, why do you still do it?  It’s a very good question and one that deserves an answer. Once you have been a server for a while, waiting tables gets into your blood, much like liquor or an STD. Once it’s in you, it’s hard to get it out. Since so many people wonder why servers keep doing what they’re doing, I give to you my top five best things about being a server:

  1. No need for an ATM. I always have cash. Always. ATMs are an afterthought for me because my apron is full of bills. True that too many of them have pictures of George Washington on them rather than Andrew Jackson, but they all spend. I have been known to pay for my groceries with all singles but most of the time, cashiers are happy to get those small bills. When you get a paycheck each week for about $16.01, all your money is usually in a wad on your dresser. So if you ever need cash, you don’t have to go to the bank. You go to your pocket. And I don’t remember the last time I had to get a roll of quarters for laundry because a lot of senior citizens still think that three shiny quarters is a good tip.
  2. Free food. Many restaurants feed their staff before or after a shift. If we don’t get the food for free then we can usually get something off the menu for pretty cheap. True, it may look like this sometimes, but a free pile of crap is better than no pile of crap. I have worked with people who eat all of their meals at the restaurant they work in and never set foot inside a grocery store except for beer and soap. And even if you don’t get a shift meal, you can usually bribe one of the cooks to give you an order of fries or something. Just be sure that it’s a fair trade. Maybe offer to keep his soda full all night or something easy like that. Hand jobs are not worth an order of fries unless they are double fired, then yes, it’s totally worth it.
  3. If I don’t want to go to work there is always someone to work for me. Waiting tables is notoriously flexible. The restaurant is full of people who fall somewhere between “I never want to work” to “I will work five doubles in a row.” (Guess where I fall…) Sometimes things come up that make it impossible for us to make it to our shift. It might be an audition, school or a hangover. When these situations arise, all it takes is a quick note on the bulletin board and someone will almost always take your shift for you. You can’t do that at most jobs. It can be a dangerously easy habit to fall into though. I gave away four Thursday shifts in a row once and when they new schedule came out for the next month I was no longer working on Thursdays. I demanded I get my Thursday shifts back and as soon as I got them, I gave the first one away to some new girl so I could watch the finale of Project Runway.
  4. Uniforms. I used to hate wearing uniforms. Khaki pants and polos have been a staple of my closet for far too long and I always dreamed (“Dream bigger,” says everyone) of working someplace where I could wear whatever I wanted. It finally happened one year when I got hired at this really laid back restaurant. But you know what? After about four weeks of wearing whatever I wanted, I realized that I was wearing the same three shirts every week. I didn’t want to get ketchup and coffee on all of my clothes so I essentially had created my own uniform. The places I work now require that I wear a black shirt and black pants or jeans so I never have to spend more than thirty seconds deciding what to wear. When I worked in retail, it was always a major decision trying to figure out what cute little outfit to wear each day. Now it’s just a question of finding the shirt with the fewest amount of stains and needs the least amount of ironing.
  5. When you’re done, you’re done. When we clock out of the restaurant, we are not required to think about our job again until we show up for the next shift. There are no emails that have to be checked when we get home or work that has to be done after hours. Waiting tables is not a job you take home with you, unless you count the smell of restaurant that is in your hair, clothing, pores and soul. Punch out and forget about it. Sadly, this does not mean that your subconscious won’t make you have a nightmare every now and then about being the only server in a packed restaurant with no computers.

The next time someone asks you why you wait tables if it sucks so bad, just show them this list. And then ask them what’s so great about their job. Unless they work in a restaurant, I bet their top five best things are pretty different than our top five things. However, they probably don’t smell like a chicken club sandwich with bacon and blue cheese so they might win.

What do you think is one of the best things about being a server?

Discussion

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  5. euphoric_mania
    • Kerry
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    • Liz
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