I get a lot of questions each day, both in my real life and my life as The Bitchy Waiter: Is that your real hair? Why does you always smell like alcohol? Can I get fries with that? But the question I get asked the most is this one: if all you do is bitch about waiting tables, why do you still do it? It’s a very good question and one that deserves an answer. Once you have been a server for a while, waiting tables gets into your blood, much like liquor or an STD. Once it’s in you, it’s hard to get it out. Since so many people wonder why servers keep doing what they’re doing, I give to you my top five best things about being a server:
- No need for an ATM. I always have cash. Always. ATMs are an afterthought for me because my apron is full of bills. True that too many of them have pictures of George Washington on them rather than Andrew Jackson, but they all spend. I have been known to pay for my groceries with all singles but most of the time, cashiers are happy to get those small bills. When you get a paycheck each week for about $16.01, all your money is usually in a wad on your dresser. So if you ever need cash, you don’t have to go to the bank. You go to your pocket. And I don’t remember the last time I had to get a roll of quarters for laundry because a lot of senior citizens still think that three shiny quarters is a good tip.
- Free food. Many restaurants feed their staff before or after a shift. If we don’t get the food for free then we can usually get something off the menu for pretty cheap. True, it may look like this sometimes, but a free pile of crap is better than no pile of crap. I have worked with people who eat all of their meals at the restaurant they work in and never set foot inside a grocery store except for beer and soap. And even if you don’t get a shift meal, you can usually bribe one of the cooks to give you an order of fries or something. Just be sure that it’s a fair trade. Maybe offer to keep his soda full all night or something easy like that. Hand jobs are not worth an order of fries unless they are double fired, then yes, it’s totally worth it.
- If I don’t want to go to work there is always someone to work for me. Waiting tables is notoriously flexible. The restaurant is full of people who fall somewhere between “I never want to work” to “I will work five doubles in a row.” (Guess where I fall…) Sometimes things come up that make it impossible for us to make it to our shift. It might be an audition, school or a hangover. When these situations arise, all it takes is a quick note on the bulletin board and someone will almost always take your shift for you. You can’t do that at most jobs. It can be a dangerously easy habit to fall into though. I gave away four Thursday shifts in a row once and when they new schedule came out for the next month I was no longer working on Thursdays. I demanded I get my Thursday shifts back and as soon as I got them, I gave the first one away to some new girl so I could watch the finale of Project Runway.
- Uniforms. I used to hate wearing uniforms. Khaki pants and polos have been a staple of my closet for far too long and I always dreamed (“Dream bigger,” says everyone) of working someplace where I could wear whatever I wanted. It finally happened one year when I got hired at this really laid back restaurant. But you know what? After about four weeks of wearing whatever I wanted, I realized that I was wearing the same three shirts every week. I didn’t want to get ketchup and coffee on all of my clothes so I essentially had created my own uniform. The places I work now require that I wear a black shirt and black pants or jeans so I never have to spend more than thirty seconds deciding what to wear. When I worked in retail, it was always a major decision trying to figure out what cute little outfit to wear each day. Now it’s just a question of finding the shirt with the fewest amount of stains and needs the least amount of ironing.
- When you’re done, you’re done. When we clock out of the restaurant, we are not required to think about our job again until we show up for the next shift. There are no emails that have to be checked when we get home or work that has to be done after hours. Waiting tables is not a job you take home with you, unless you count the smell of restaurant that is in your hair, clothing, pores and soul. Punch out and forget about it. Sadly, this does not mean that your subconscious won’t make you have a nightmare every now and then about being the only server in a packed restaurant with no computers.
The next time someone asks you why you wait tables if it sucks so bad, just show them this list. And then ask them what’s so great about their job. Unless they work in a restaurant, I bet their top five best things are pretty different than our top five things. However, they probably don’t smell like a chicken club sandwich with bacon and blue cheese so they might win.
What do you think is one of the best things about being a server?
Riane
I also love that you become family in your venue. Let’s face it, we spend weekends, holidays, and birthdays with these people. No matter how dysfunctional, you’re still a family. “You’ve been holding it for 2 hours? Go girl! I got you” “You’re grandbaby’s birthday is an hour before we close? You go ahead, we’ll pick up your tables” “Creepy guy isn’t getting the hint? Guess who just became your wife? Yea, I did”
Gette
The regulars (most of them, anyway). I’m in a small town and have served several places depending on what was going on in my life (–I don’t like to job hop but have to work around day hours, night hours, back to school, day job schedule, etc.). I have met so many people who I only know from serving, but I know their kids, their jobs, their joys and struggles, and they know mine. Since it’s a small town, I’ll meet them at one job and see them at another, and pick up where we left off.
Jenevieve
I like being a server because it’s rather easy to relocate and get a job quickly. With a few years under your belt and a pleasant personality, you’re basically a shoo-in for any restaurant job you apply to.
Plus, when you’re new in town and get hired, it’s easy to make friends! Nice!
Can you tell I’m moving soon?
PCC
I used to love being a server because I’m a people person!
euphoric_mania
You just reminded me that some guy ran up a $45 bill in dine in food and then another $15 togo. I forgot to put a side of bleu cheese with his to go wings tonight. He only left me $2 and some change on all that. Fuck his bleu cheese.
Kerry
i hope you remember to forget it again if this guy rolls back in for some free service..jerk..
jenbjen
Well besides the money. Being able to walk out with about $100 per 8 hour shift is pretty neat.
Anonymous
Being able to switch cuts with people if you need to get off early for something or if you want to stay longer for a little extra money.
Jenny
I can abuse the government systems by getting all the benefits I can claiming to be a “poor single mom” when in fact, I make a LOT of money but only have to claim a little. Screw you Uncle Sam.
(I’m sure I’ll get a lot of flack for this post but there’s a LOT of people that do this….A LOT)
Liz
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to get by 🙂
Kerry
Idk if ya can say we “abuse” the gov..l dont see it that way..there are months where I make 1/3 of the norm& still pay the tax..so,I see it as,yeah,we’re even..when I need the “help”,I do not hesitate to get it..after all,I paid my dues..I’m with ya on this one…
Shery
Screw you “Uncle Sam”….I love people like you – I’m screwing the govt….no your stealing.
Your screwing people who actually need help….what great lessons to teacher your children…..hey kids; its okay to lie & steal to get what you want.
People like you make me sick; “Uncle Sam” is every tax paying citizen except you apparently because you lie about how you’ve made every shift so you can collect undeserved assistance.
Shery
Idk if ya can say we “abuse” the gov..l dont see it that way..there are months where I make 1/3 of the norm& still pay the tax..so,I see it as,yeah,we’re even..when I need the “help”,I do not hesitate to get it..after all,I paid my dues..I’m with ya on this one…
YES – you are abusing the government…aka STEALING. When are you “paying your dues” if your always lying about how much you make each shift?
Why the hell do you feel you are above the law and not pay appropriate taxes? Why the hell do you feel that other people taxes should pay for your kid?
sally
Jenny you’re not “screwing” or “abusing” the government, you are screwing and abusing your own child. Who do you think is going to be responsible for paying off the national debt some day once all you scam artists and freeloaders are done ripping us all off? And, who do you think is going to suffer when “the government” can no longer support your lazy ass?
Let’s just say that your kid better not need any substantial help in the future Jen–because parasites like you are using it all up now. Karma’s a bitch, and the sins of the father ARE in fact visited on the son, more times than not.
melissa in houston
#1 No Drug Tests
Blaze
My boyfriend LOVED how I smelled like greasy curly fries when I got home each night. So much so, that he wouldn’t let me take a shower for at least 30 minutes while he buried his head in my shirt.
sally
Another thing I always liked about being a server is that for the most part I could avoid rush hour traffic. I know they probably exist somewhere, but I’ve never known of an 8 to 5 server job in my life.
Jenni
Love it – but can I insert a few caveats? Servers spend a lot of their cash after at a late night place talking about work ;-} Which really is also another perk.
Kelly
My co-workers are great, we’ve all been there a pretty long time and we all just work like a well oiled machine. (There are a few hiccups once in a while, but over all – we all get along very well.)
The customers that come in, doesn’t matter if you come four times a year or three times a week, I am still so very happy to see you. Customers come for lunch or dinner, they also may have a private gathering/party in our other room whether it’s a happy occasion such as a birthday or baby shower, or in a sad time such as a bereavement dinner.
Mark W
“What do you think is one of the best things about being a server?”
Totally getting where BW is coming from with his posts!
Rachel Le Blanc
I agree with all of the above. But my biggest reason at least where I live you can’t get a better job in the realm of Hrs vs pay. I would have to work 80-100 hrs/wk at min wage to make what I do in 30-35.