Thank you to everyone who sent me the story about the waiter at Carrabba’s in Overland Park, Kansas who was stiffed by the “Christian” couple because they thought his homosexual lifestyle was a direct assault on them. They pushed their wallets even further up their assholes and clenched their butt cheeks together so tightly that they didn’t even leave him one dollar for a tip. I wasn’t going to blog about it because the shit pissed me off so bad that I was just going to let it seep into my soul and make me angrier and use it as fuel for my fire. However, after a few days of seeing everyone else write about it, I can’t keep my big gay mouth shut anymore.
According to The New Civil Rights Movement, the couple left the following note instead of a tip:
“Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. Queers do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your fag choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD’S love, but none shall be spared for fags. May GOD have mercy on you.”
What the fuck is wrong with these people? First off, why do they need to capitalize the word “god” every time? Does that mean they love him extra special? And I don’t know what makes them think that queers do not share in the wealth of God? Fuck that. God gave the gays a veritable cornucopia of wealth, from good taste to disposable incomes to overall fabulousness, so God obviously has a soft spot for us. It’s been a while since I went to church but I’m pretty sure I remember being told that God loves everyone. 1 John 4:16 says “ And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” To me, that says that if someone lives with love in their life then they also live with God, right? I’m pretty sure I saw a t-shirt or a bumper sticker once that said “God is Love.” These people don’t have any conscience anyway, let alone a “good one.”
I love how they think that by stiffing their server, he might rethink his whole “fag choices” and come over to their side of heterosexual lovin’ where they probably have sex every third weekend and on special occasions like when a new Costco opens. I really hope that the note was written by the husband though, because according to 1 Timothy 2:11-12, the woman shouldn’t even be talking. “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” In other words, lady, God wants you to shut the hell up.
It’s nice of the couple to hope that God will have mercy on this server because I’m sure with all the famine, war, disease and crime happening on this planet, God’s priority list has some waiter in Kansas at the top of it. I’m sure God is also super concerned about the apron the guy was wearing since Leviticus 19:19 says, “You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.” If God finds out that the apron is a cotton/poly blend, cue the locusts because He’s gonna be pissed.
To me it sounds like by withholding a tip and then leaving this passive-ass aggressive note, they are doing the exact opposite of what the Bible says to do. Leviticus 19:17-18 says, “Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke [reason with] thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the Lord.” Umm, hello? Wake up and smell the Bible, assholes.
Luckily, most people realize that the message left for this server is full of hate and stupidity. According to reports, the waiter has much support from the community and lots of people are vying for a spot in his section so they can leave him extra tips. Overall, people are good but it’s the ones like this couple who remind us that there is so much hate in the world. In all honesty, this couple probably didn’t want to leave a tip anyway and were on the lookout for a reason to stiff him. “Oh, look how flamboyant he is, he must be gay. Let’s let that be our excuse today for not leaving a tip, honey.” So they stiffed him and saved about seven bucks. Let me leave that couple with one final Bible verse. Proverbs 17:16 says, “Why should a fool have money in his hand to buy wisdom when he has no sense?” No sense, indeed.