Wow. Yesterday’s post about Michael Cera got a lot of traffic and lots of comments. So many, in fact, that I feel I must write a Comment on Comments piece. And away we go!
First off, I want to make it clear that I never said anything bad about Michael Cera. There was nothing in the blog post that was specifically negative about him, his acting or his films. All of that stuff came from people who left comments. All I did was notice something in a restaurant and write a story about it in much the same way I have done for the last five years. Many of the negative comments were directed at me, and I’m gonna be honest with you folks, it hurt. It hurt me real bad. Like so bad that that it made me want to go back in time to the 1950’s to sit on a swing at a drive-in and sing about it. (Go to the 1:16 mark.) Most people said that I was making too big of a deal out of nothing. Hello? Are you new? That’s what I do. I am a master at taking a molehill and turning it into a big fucking mountain. That’s basically what this blog subsists on. Welcome to the Bitchy Waiter.
Nicholas had this to say: The Bitchy Waiter should be the Miserable Waiter instead. The man played chess. Get a different job since this one apparently makes you miserable. Life is too short to be so bitchy.
BW has this to say: You know what, Nicholas? I already paid for the URL to The Bitchy Waiter and I don’t want to start a new blog about being miserable too. Why don’t you do that, you miserable twat? Life is too short to not be bitchy is the way I like to look at things.
Krysta had this to say: As a server and bartender. This story is a tad overdone. He has the right to sit at the table. He has the right to order water and sit there from open to close. Yes it stinks, but honestly if you are unhappy with the way other people choose to spend their time, get out of the restaurant business.
BW has this to say: Yes, this story is a tad overdone just like that man at Table 11 last night who asked for his steak to be cooked so there was absolutely no pink inside it. If you are unhappy about a blog with the word “bitchy” in it, maybe you should get out of the blog-reading business.
Lots of people seemed to think that I picked on Mr. Cera because he was famous or because I am jealous of him. Let’s be honest. Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows that I don’t write about the behavior of someone just because they are famous. I will call out any Tom, Dick or Harry if I think it warrants a blog post. And me, jealous of his celebrity? Of course I am. That is not new news.
Eddie had this to say: The blog writer is upset because his own sense of self-entitlement was deflated by someone with more celebrity than himself. He even mentions how the waiter was so impressed by him being a blog writer.
BW has this to say: I never said that the waiter was impressed by me being a blog writer. In fact, I never even said it was a waiter. I was keenly sensitive to that because I promised that person I would not give away their identity. And that person was excited that they knew of my blog specifically, not just a “blog writer.” Trust me, no one ever knows what the hell I’m talking about if I mention the name of my blog.
Eddie went on to say: This blog post is silly. Now, if Cera came in for 5 hours, ordered only a water, left a shitty tip, and then insulted a member of the staff on the way out the door, or complained about service, I would agree you have just cause to slander him on your blog.
BW has this to say: The definition of slander is: “(verb) to make make false and damaging statements about someone.”Where did I slander Michael Cera? Everything I wrote was true. He was in fact at a busy restaurant, taking up a four-top while playing chess. All facts, Eddie. I calls ’em as I sees ’em.
Davin said: I love how you talk about how people think they’re so important, then you try to name drop yourself to the waiter and apparently have a business card that reads “professional blogger”. What a high barrier of entry to become one of THOSE….you’d need to take at least 4 minutes out of your day to achieve that job. Frankly, you come off as a self-entitled prick who’s just jealous of celebrity.
BW has this to say: Davin, my business card does not say “professional blogger” on it. It has the name of my blog and the URL as well as an email address. I got them because I was tired of scribbling that shit out onto bev naps. And for your information, it takes much much more than four minutes a day to create this high quality blog. It takes at least a ten or twelve minutes a day. And maybe I do come across as a self-entitled prick, but then again so do you. The only difference between the two of us is that I can see that about myself which is why I have a blog called The Bitchy Waiter. And as I mentioned before, I am clearly jealous of his celebrity. I also knew that if I wrote a story with his name attached, it would get me more traffic and since I am a needy self-entitled prick who craves fame, it worked out real nice for me. Lots of traffic yesterday! Success!
Someone named D had this to say: Waaaahh, I had to wait for a seat at a restaurant! waaaahh, Michael Cera is playing chess! Waaaaahhh, he got two tables, and I only got one, Waaaahh! Get over yourself lady.
BW has this to say: I’m a guy.
Finally, Colleen had this to say: It doesn’t matter if he ate or was drinking the entire time. The point of the story is you don’t fucking play chess at a restaurant especially a busy one.
BW has this to say: Thank you, Colleen! His behavior is that of someone who is simply unaware of how inconsiderate they are being. It’s one thing to take up a table for three or four hours but continue ordering food and drinks. It’s quite another to sit there and use the table to catch up with old friends, read a book, do paperwork, talk on the phone or play a few games of goddamn chess. It’s just common sense and good manners. Maybe the restaurant was pleased to have someone of his stature sitting there for a few hours so it could make their place seem cooler. Maybe he left a huge tip to make up for the lost rotation. Maybe I would have waited 40 minutes whether he was playing chess or not. The point is, any customer who uses a restaurant table to play board games when other people would like to use that table to eat is a clueless customer.
Thank you for all the great comments, everyone. This was fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go stand on the corner in mid-town Manhattan and hand out my business cards to anyone who will take one and then beg people to call me famous.