A Comment on Comments, the Michael Cera Edition

A Comment on Comments

A Comment on Comments

Wow. Yesterday’s post about Michael Cera got a lot of traffic and lots of comments. So many, in fact, that I feel I must write a Comment on Comments piece. And away we go!

First off, I want to make it clear that I never said anything bad about Michael Cera. There was nothing in the blog post that was specifically negative about him, his acting or his films. All of that stuff came from people who left comments. All I did was notice something in a restaurant and write a story about it in much the same way I have done for the last five years. Many of the negative comments were directed at me, and I’m gonna be honest with you folks, it hurt. It hurt me real bad. Like so bad that that it made me want to go back in time to the 1950’s to sit on a swing at a drive-in and sing about it. (Go to the 1:16 mark.) Most people said that I was making too big of a deal out of nothing. Hello? Are you new? That’s what I do. I am a master at taking a molehill and turning it into a big fucking mountain. That’s basically what this blog subsists on. Welcome to the Bitchy Waiter.

Nicholas had this to say: The Bitchy Waiter should be the Miserable Waiter instead. The man played chess. Get a different job since this one apparently makes you miserable. Life is too short to be so bitchy.

BW has this to say: You know what, Nicholas? I already paid for the URL to The Bitchy Waiter and I don’t want to start a new blog about being miserable too. Why don’t you do that, you miserable twat? Life is too short to not be bitchy is the way I like to look at things.

Krysta had this to say: As a server and bartender. This story is a tad overdone. He has the right to sit at the table. He has the right to order water and sit there from open to close. Yes it stinks, but honestly if you are unhappy with the way other people choose to spend their time, get out of the restaurant business.

BW has this to say: Yes, this story is a tad overdone just like that man at Table 11 last night who asked for his steak to be cooked so there was absolutely no pink inside it. If you are unhappy about a blog with the word “bitchy” in it, maybe you should get out of the blog-reading business.

Lots of people seemed to think that I picked on Mr. Cera because he was famous or because I am jealous of him. Let’s be honest. Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows that I don’t write about the behavior of someone just because they are famous. I will call out any Tom, Dick or Harry if I think it warrants a blog post. And me, jealous of his celebrity? Of course I am. That is not new news.

Eddie had this to say: The blog writer is upset because his own sense of self-entitlement was deflated by someone with more celebrity than himself. He even mentions how the waiter was so impressed by him being a blog writer.

BW has this to say: I never said that the waiter was impressed by me being a blog writer. In fact, I never even said it was a waiter. I was keenly sensitive to that because I promised that person I would not give away their identity. And that person was excited that they knew of my blog specifically, not just a “blog writer.” Trust me, no one ever knows what the hell I’m talking about if I mention the name of my blog.

Eddie went on to say: This blog post is silly. Now, if Cera came in for 5 hours, ordered only a water, left a shitty tip, and then insulted a member of the staff on the way out the door, or complained about service, I would agree you have just cause to slander him on your blog.

BW has this to say: The definition of slander is: “(verb) to make make false and damaging statements about someone.”Where did I slander Michael Cera? Everything I wrote was true. He was in fact at a busy restaurant, taking up a four-top while playing chess. All facts, Eddie. I calls ’em as I sees ’em.

Davin said: I love how you talk about how people think they’re so important, then you try to name drop yourself to the waiter and apparently have a business card that reads “professional blogger”. What a high barrier of entry to become one of THOSE….you’d need to take at least 4 minutes out of your day to achieve that job. Frankly, you come off as a self-entitled prick who’s just jealous of celebrity.

BW has this to say: Davin, my business card does not say “professional blogger” on it. It has the name of my blog and the URL as well as an email address. I got them because I was tired of scribbling that shit out onto bev naps. And for your information, it takes much much more than four minutes a day to create this high quality blog. It takes at least a ten or twelve minutes a day. And maybe I do come across as a self-entitled prick, but then again so do you. The only difference between the two of us is that I can see that about myself which is why I have a blog called The Bitchy Waiter. And as I mentioned before, I am clearly jealous of his celebrity. I also knew that if I wrote a story with his name attached, it would get me more traffic and since I am a needy self-entitled prick who craves fame, it worked out real nice for me. Lots of traffic yesterday! Success!

Someone named D had this to say: Waaaahh, I had to wait for a seat at a restaurant! waaaahh, Michael Cera is playing chess! Waaaaahhh, he got two tables, and I only got one, Waaaahh!  Get over yourself lady.

BW has this to say: I’m a guy.

Finally, Colleen had this to say: It doesn’t matter if he ate or was drinking the entire time. The point of the story is you don’t fucking play chess at a restaurant especially a busy one.

BW has this to say: Thank you, Colleen! His behavior is that of someone who is simply unaware of how inconsiderate they are being. It’s one thing to take up a table for three or four hours but continue ordering food and drinks. It’s quite another to sit there and use the table to catch up with old friends, read a book, do paperwork, talk on the phone or play a few games of goddamn chess. It’s just common sense and good manners. Maybe the restaurant was pleased to have someone of his stature sitting there for a few hours so it could make their place seem cooler. Maybe he left a huge tip to make up for the lost rotation. Maybe I would have waited 40 minutes whether he was playing chess or not. The point is, any customer who uses a restaurant table to play board games when other people would like to use that table to eat is a clueless customer.

Thank you for all the great comments, everyone. This was fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go stand on the corner in mid-town Manhattan and hand out my business cards to anyone who will take one and then beg people to call me famous.

You hurt me real bad.

You hurt me real bad.

The Bitchy Waiter on Twitter.

68 thoughts on “A Comment on Comments, the Michael Cera Edition

  1. Anne

    It’s one thing to linger in a restaurant over food and drink, another to play chess for hours. Would I go to my car mechanic and insist on sitting in the car listening to the radio for hours when he had my car up on the lift? Would I decide to take a nap on a bed in the ER, because I was tired after they put in the stitches?

    This is about running a business and have appropriate behavior that takes into consideration the time and effort of others.

    Reply
  2. Joy

    Never mind that you ARE the Bitchy Waiter, and never mind that many many moons ago, I was the underage polyester-clad grope-target-in-a-military-town waitress. As a customer who waited that long for a table, I too would have been pissed at the utter fucking cluelessness of someone, celebrity or not, who felt that it was his privilege to take up ass space for four and brain space for none. Seriously – all this dishes and glasses clattering around you, all of the chatter and the all of the food didn’t possibly give away that this was a restaurant that needs to actually do what it is there to do? Next time, he should book the whole fucking place so at least people don’t have to be exposed to cheap-ass self-centered stupidity.

    Reply
  3. Jessica

    You’re shameless and hilarious. I always enjoy your responses to commenters! Also, I have a feeling most people who commented really don’t understand what it means to have one table completely out of rotation for hours on end. When I get tables who camp out, (and once I had a 4 top of old ladies begin to KNIT. Effing KNIT at my table) they almost never tip adequately for the time they are there. This can really mess up how much I make, because at my restaurant we are only allowed 3 tables at a time. Working 2 tables for 4 hours isn’t fun, but if they tipped me to make up for how long they sat there I wouldn’t care. That in mind, I’m actually curious as to how much Cera tipped!

    Reply
  4. Meg

    Wow, wow people need a life if they get that heated about Michael Cera. I had to google him because I didn’t know/care who he is. Seriously your blog is to entertain people(which it does quite well I might add!) If the thoughtless actions of some idiot 20-something living out his Bobby Fisher fantasies gets your panties in a twist – get a hobby.

    Reply
  5. euphoric_mania

    I really didn’t think anybody cared about his smug hipster face that much. I mean, I love Arrested Development, but everything else he has been in has made me want to use his head as a tee ball stand, (bad at sports). Also, “I’m a guy.” I seriously fuckin lol’d at that one.

    Reply
  6. Colleen

    I’m constantly amazed at the amount of people who complain about bitchiness on a blog called Bitchy Waiter. Why the hell did they even come here? Did these troglodytes think “Bitchy Waiter…clearly it was opposite day when he named it and its really all about how much this waiter LOVES his job and every single customer and how much he believes the customer is always right no matter what. I’m going to go read about how fantastic I am!! Wait…he’s being BITCHY!! OMG!!!Sound the entitled alarm… OFFENDED! OFFENDED! OFFENDED!”

    When I was younger I was a dancer (stripper) for many years. The stories I could tell about the unbelievable audacity, egos and rampant entitlement complexes about customers would make your head spin. And celebrities were usually even worse (except Carson Daly. Gotta say…he was awesome, respectful and fun!) The saving grace was that I was allowed to say whatever the hell I wanted back. Told customers to go fuck themselves on a reg basis. Helped me breathe til the nice ones came around

    Reply
    1. Colleen

      Oh and Bitchy..I’ll be in Manhattan in a cpl weeks. If you want to meet for a drink and get some serious stories for your blog, I’d be happy to oblige! 😉

      Reply
      1. Jennifer G.

        Lovin’ the blog. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. So simple(for those of us with a lick of sence). I live in Florida & I share with all my fellow servers & FB friends. Keep up the awesomeness of what the majority think. Congrats on your book, especially the FACT it’s in second printing.

        Reply
      2. Danielle

        Ha got you both beat 😜 I’m from Manchester,UK I also check this every day
        I think the bitch waiter may be my spirit animal 😂😂😂😂😂😂

        Reply
  7. Kim

    People feel the need to come into the restaurant I work at with their lap tops, stacks of business papers, tablets, etc and sit for HOURS holding meetings. It doesn’t matter if you’re Joe Schmo or Michael Cera, the fucking point is, you go to a restaurant to EAT. Not to have a reunion with a class mate you haven’t seen in 20 years, not to have a baby shower, not for a business meeting, and definitely not to play chess. You sit the fuck down & order your fucking food, eat it & have a great time & then get the fuck out. Coffee shops & lounges are for “hanging around” not restaurants. As much as patrons like to believe it, just bc you come in & order does NOT entitle you to then sit for HOURS afterwards. Once you’re paid, finish your meal, drinks, coffee, dessert, whatever, and get the fuck out. It’s not only fucking over that server money wise, but you’re also screwing over other patrons who want to use that space for what it was intended for, EATING.

    Reply
  8. jasinc

    Who is Michael Cera? I love BW! I wish you had a video blog! Always remember, you can please everyone. Dont stoop down to any ones level to prove or explain yourself!

    Reply
  9. bitchyoufabulous

    I love BW, comments on the comments are the best thing ever. Anyone who thinks what Michael Cera did was acceptable, how would you have felt if it wasn’t Michael Cera? Clearly unacceptable behavior.

    Reply
  10. michael

    I love it!!!!!!!!!

    We are now in a world where everyone has an opinion about everything, writes it down for all to see and then defends it to the death.
    UGH!

    Here’s mine: I’m in total agreeance with BW. You do NOT set up and play any game in a busy, crowded restaurant. IT IS RUDE!

    Thanks.

    Reply
  11. buck

    I’ve actually hurried my meal in busy restaurants because I hate being inconsiderate. I guess that’s the difference between a polite person and Mr. Cera and his googly eyed fans.

    Reply
  12. baroness

    go to a park, library, coffee shop, hell even go to a bar to play chess, NOT a busy restaurant during dinner hours. if you are taking up a table after you’ve finished your meal during dinner rush, i don’t care who you are or what you do, stop being an entitled jerk and surrender your seat so other hungry patrons can eat AND the server can make more money. i love how these ignorant, self-centered, entitled fools think you’re the one being an asshole. get with the program people! you’re not the only customer! if any of these naysayers (god, they really are a ridiculous, uninformed, unaware bunch when they start commenting) tried any of their antics in my restaurant they’d be banned for life. they can take their money and bad attitude elsewhere. like other restaurant owners, i’m running a business not a clubhouse. keep speaking the truth and shaming those devils bitchy! your blog is one of my saving graces!

    Reply
  13. Scargosun

    LOVE IT! MC must have sent over ‘fans’ to complain. Otherwise how would people who don’t read your site know? Hmmmm…anyway. I loved this post and the prior one. The Michael Cera’s of the world can suck it.

    Reply
  14. chacha1

    The post made me LOL and the comments also made me LOL. And I would also love to hear more from Colleen about her years as a dancer (stripper).

    This story just cries out for a follow-up. Oh how I wish BW had a mole at that restaurant who could tell us how much MC tipped – IF he tipped.

    Reply
  15. Allie

    People seriously need to STFU. I would put money on the fact that if this post were written aout a non-celebrity, everyone would be jumping on the bandwagon of how rude and inappropriate it was to take up a four-top for hours while playing multiple games of chess and not ordering anything. This is the main reason so many celebrities get away with being clueless, rude, or whatever; for whatever reason, people fall all over themselves to excuse behavior they would not accept from friends, families, neighbors, that random guy over there.. I don’t care who you are. Anyone who does this sort of thing is oblivious, rude, and probably at least a little self-important.

    Reply
  16. Mark W

    Michael Cera has been on the Today Show.and Leno.

    Bitchy Waiter has been the Today Show, Dr. Phil. CBS This Morning, AND written for CNN.

    You tell me, who’s the bigger celebrity?

    Reply
  17. Athena

    When going to a restaurant I cannot help but notice those who seem to think it is their living room. A place they can kick off their shoes, prop them up in the chair next to them, and settle in for however long they feel like. I have never understood it. To these people, the food seems to be secondary, while the obnoxiousness seems to be primary. As though the more of an ass they can be, the more important they are. I have heard people see themselves differently if it is shown to them on video. Maybe filming them and making them infamous in a Youtube series titled, “Assholes Who Lunch”, will curb that behavior. Just a thought

    Reply
  18. Jackie

    This is hilarious! Every waiter, bartender or other member of the FOH service industry (or BOH for that matter as well) should be able to relate to this. And seriously, if you’re making a negative comment about the bitchy waiter’s bitchiness- you probably haven’t worked in a restaurant before. Or you’re just that stupid.

    Reply
  19. Karin Wolchko

    The point of the whole thing was….It was a very busy nite at that particular restaurant. Did Mr. C. have the right to sit there and play his game? Yes. Could he have stayed from open to close?> Yes. Should anyone have said anything to him? No. However…if he and his party had any common courtesy for anyone else that was waiting to be seated or common sense….perhaps he would have packed up and went some where else less busy.
    It could have been anyone…just so happened it was Mr. C.

    Reply
    1. tilly t

      “Should anyone have said anything to him? No.” What? Of COURSE management has every right to say something to him. You think a homeless person could sit at a table in a public restaurant & drink water all day and no one would say anything? So, no, I don’t think “It could have been anyone.”

      Reply
  20. Bus Boy

    You were right to write this post. Yes, he has a right to come in, but that doesn’t mean he was right for making his choice. He doesn’t have the right to both sit there for three-plus hours and not order anything significant. If servers have a limited section, that is one less section to turn over for more income from tips. If this is the case, he was basically stealing from that server (the same as not leaving a tip).

    Reply
  21. suburbanrockdoll

    These “commenters” sound like the kind of customers you do not want at your table. They obviously did not get the point of the blog. – It’s rude to take up a table for that long, especially when the restaurant has a wait. And if you do take up a table, tip accordingly because the server makes money by turning tables. What’s so hard about getting that??!!

    Reply
  22. Renegade Waitress

    Heya Bitchy Waiter I’ve been reading your blog for years and loving it and thought I’d finally leave a comment. I’m a waitress in Australia, between jobs and trying to make the switch to tourism as I’ve had enough of being stepped all over by nitwit lazy ass managers/owners and supervisors.

    First off, you are exactly right. Nothing peeves me off more then customers taking up space (especially extra space which could be used for other guests) and not ordering anything. Not only are they costing you money, but, they’re always the type who will refuse to order when the server asks and then later on will wave about madly and get all cranky that no one has taken their order. What peeves me off even more is when they are completely oblivious to their behaviour. How do you not notice, open your eyes and take a look around. Put two and two together. And who the F brings a chessboard to a restaurant. Reminds me off the playpen photo on one of your posts a while back. I literally choked on my coffee and laughed for 5 minutes over that one. The absurdity and selfishness of people astounds me.

    I blame this self-absorbed attitude on the rise of social media, twitter, instagram, facebook etc. Everything is about “mememe” these days. I can’t remember the last time I went out to eat without whomever I was with whipping out their stupid phone every 5 minutes to check msgs.

    Guess that’s why I stick to blogs as they’re well-written, sentence structure, grammar and the like are still adhered to (thanx for destroying the english language facebook/twitter) and all in all they make for an entertaining read. Though I must confess I only read this one as the other waiter blogs just don’t have the same flair as yours, plus, I’d say our waiting style is very similar as I just about always wholeheartedly agree with what you post.

    I rambled, I’m sorry. All in all thank you for sharing your wonderfully enlightening, engaging, upsetting and bitchy experiences. Keep doing what your doing.

    All the best to you Bitchy Waiter

    Reply
  23. Jacklyn Lee

    You were so right BW. The ones who harshed on you are wrong. Plain and simple. I have had to deal with “campers” everyplace I have ever worked– (white linen to greasy spoons)–and they are just not worth the problems they create.

    Reply
  24. ClaireSki

    I bet you money that Bitchy Waiter would’ve written this blog about a commoner as well! I 100% believe he would. Anyone who’s that thoughtless deserves to be called out. If anything
    to inform him of proper etiquette while dining out.

    Underneath the blog title it does say “rants and raves from one in the food service industry”. BW did give you folks complaining about his complaining a fair warning about the tone of this blog.

    If this was John Doe I really doubt this many people would be freaking out about the post. Most would agree this is ridiculous behavior. I love chess but I also love not being an ignorant/rude patron as well.

    If anything it is WEIRD to play board games in a RESTAURANT! This isn’t Starbucks people. I wouldn’t bust out a guitar and start jam session. Maybe I should just to see how many people defend my actions just because I ordered beverages/food and tip well.

    I love your blog Bitchy! As a former server out of the industry for 6 years, I still have the nightmares (and scars… honestly)!

    Reply
  25. Victoria

    Ha ha Success ! I love it. No person has the right to sit at a table playing chess in a busy restaurant! And definitely not a deuce at a four top!!! That poor server!

    Reply
  26. Sweet Vermouth

    This all really ridiculous. The Bitchy Waiter is hilarious and you’re not going to change anyone’s mind by stating anything in opposition of this. So, stop reading this blog if you’re not seeking to be entertained! Duh. People are so stupid.

    Reply
  27. Call me Sam

    BW can do no wrong! I’d fangirl out way harder if I saw him in person then the celebrity he wrote about. Why wouldn’t he have business cards, if I wrote a blog that is as entertaining as this I would be proudly telling everyone to check it out.

    Reply
  28. Emily

    Chess or no chess aside, what I am disappointed with, Bitchy Waiter, is the way you perpetuated the very thing you were complaining about- the way celebrities are treated special in public and are self-involved or oblivious to how their actions affect others. You had the perfect opportunity to tell Michael Cera IN PERSON how his actions affected other people directly, but instead decided to complain about how nobody tells celebrities how rude they are while asking your readers to ” share this so perhaps it will eventually fall into the lap of Michael Cera or one of his people so he can learn the error of his ways’.
    I’m sorry, didn’t you say you thought about giving him your business card so he could read about this later? Oh right, but then you didn’t because you thought spreading hate without a solution would be a better thing for the world than 2 people playing chess during mealtime.
    Imagine your story had have ended with “and then I talked to Michael Cera about how I had to wait 40 minutes for a table and he realized the error of his ways and now he’s inspiring celebrities everywhere to come to their senses. Share THIS bit of progress so more celebrities and their people can take note.”

    Reply
    1. Andy Whorehol

      Emily, you completely missed the point of his entire post. Did you miss the Google alert mention? The Bitchy Waiter didn’t have to go embarrass Mr. Cera right there in the restaurant and why would he have bothered with such pointless public shaming? How would approaching a rude celebrity about his tacky behavior remotely help the situation? BW would just have come across as some insane stalker type who likely would’ve immediately been escorted out of there, for starters.
      Using his blog platform here is a much better choice overall, especially since MC’s thoughtless table-hogging chess adventure shall live on thanks to Internet eternity: the Internet never forgets, and neither does Bitchy Waiter!

      Sorry you dealt with a bunch of idiotic commenters, BW. For what it’s worth, I’m always amused by the morons who don’t “get” your blog or its tone/intention.

      Reply
  29. Adrienne

    Yesssssssss. Great rant about a ridiculous chess game that could’ve happened elsewhere, and, more importantly, a thoorough and concise response to the folks who may’ve thought it was too ‘bitchy’. Who do these dummies think they are? Doesn’t “Bitchy Waiter” give it away? You are a dreamboat, Bitchy Waiter.

    Reply
  30. Russ

    Regarding the comments after the initial Michael Cera post:
    It’s obvious that some of the people commenting did not read the post very well because they were commenting on things that were nowhere to be found in what Bitchy Waiter wrote.
    Besides the ignorant few posters who have poor reading comprehension, this whole Michael Cera brouhaha is an example of a problem with people in general who think that wherever they go, they’re in their living room.
    A crowded restaurant is not the place to take over a 4 top with your chess game for 2 people for 3 hours while only ordering one entree while there is a line of people waiting to get in.
    Just like a movie theater is not a place to put your feet up on the chairs, or take your shoes off or turn you phone on during a movie.
    Restaurants are not your home people.

    Reply
  31. ShezAnEnigma

    I just want to say, where I worked we had a time clause that is posted for all to see. If you elapse that time, the server and / or the manager has the right to ask them to leave. So ordering water and playing chess would be a no no where I worked. And if we didn’t care about the chess playing, lets say it was 3 in the morning on a Monday night, Seriously we had gamers that would come in late night on the weekends that we never bothered putting out because they ordered food and drinks all night. If they are spending money and not being ridiculous – no problem. But the point of a restaurant is to make money from selling their goods. its not a place to loiter. A server only gets paid if there is table turn-over.

    Reply
  32. Jes

    Bummer. I love George Michael, but seriously? Three plus hours playing chess. I hope he left tip for at least 3 four top parties. I can’t stand staying 5seconds longer than necessarily at a table when any place is hopping. I guess it’s the failed waitress in me. ( I wish blogs existed back then, I could have vented to the Internet rather than be a total bitch to my friends and family.)

    Reply
  33. Christy B.

    Okay, I’ve been dying to ask this since the original blog post…

    What if a person came in – any person Michael or Michelle Chesscera – and in the exact scenario.

    The bill comes and let’s say it’s $50, they decide on a $10 tip and then realizing that the server could have had four more tables in the extra four hours or five if one of the parties ate really fast, so they compensate for that by tipping $60 on the $50 bill.

    Does that change the opinion that it’s rude or inconsiderate?

    Reply
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  42. Amy

    It’s called camping, you twatwaddles. When you’re there so long after a meal we think you’re going to pitch a fucking tent and spend the night. On a busy night, after you have eaten and gotten the check and paid, do everyone a courtesy of checking your teeth for lettuce, then going to Starbucks for coffee. And chess. Most Starbucks even have chess sets available (mine has a Harry Potter one).

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