Why I Would Rather Wait on Men Than Women

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“We are so annoying.”

There is a reason that most servers would rather wait on men than women. A whole book could be written on the subject, but the sort answer is this: women can be real bitches.

While dining out last night at a really great bar, I had the pleasure of sitting next to two women who graciously allowed me to take a photo of them for this blog post.

Let me rephrase that sentence:

While getting trashed last night at a really great bar, I was annoyed as fuck by the two bitches sitting next to me and I took a picture of them for this blog post.

The first thing they do when they sit down at the bar is ask me to move over a little bit so they can have more room. Never mind that if I move down, I will then have less room because the only thing that matters is them and their precious vaginas.

“I want a margarita, but you can make sure it’s made with fresh lime juice? And I want cilantro in it. Like a mojito, you know? But with cilantro instead of mint and tequila instead of rum.” says Bitch #1.

Bitch #2 says, “I want one of those spicy margaritas.”

I watch Oscar, the amazingly cool bartender, begin making their drinks. When the drinks are placed before them, I can see disappointment in their faces. Well, more disappointment than was already there, because it is clear that they are unhappy with their lot in life, you know, being miserable bitches and all that.

Bitch #2 looks at her drink. “Oh, I don’t think this is what I wanted.” She looks at the drink sitting in front of another person at the bar. ” I wanted that one.”

“Oh,” says Oscar. “Well, that’s a Sundia.”

“Yeah, that’s what I wanted.” She slides her drink back to he bartender. “Sorry.”

I watch as Oscar takes away the perfectly fine spicy margarita and I hold back a tear as I watch him pour it down the sink.

By this point, Bitch #1 has tasted her drink and has found it to be unacceptable. “Oh this isn’t right. It needs to be sweeter.” She too slides the drink across the bar and Oscar removes it to make it more to her liking. I assume he adds some agave nectar to the cocktail but it is my hope that he simply throws a snot rocket in there that he pulled out of his nose with a Splenda packet. When he gives her the drink back, she seems satisfied. Or at least as satisfied as a miserable bitch like her can ever be.

A few minutes later he gives Bitch #2 the drink that she should have ordered in the first fucking place. Of course Bitch #1 wants to taste it to give her approval.

“Can I get another straw?”

Oscar obliges, of course, and she takes a sip giving her nod of approval as if anyone gives a shit about whether or not she likes her friend’s cocktail. They then pull out a laptop and place it on the bar to look at an online dating website. Hoping for winks, nods or pokes from potential suitors, they sip their drinks and continue on in their bitch ways.

Happy hour ends at 7:00 and at 7:18 I hear Bitch #2 ordering again.

“Can we get one more drink but we want it to be the happy hour price since the first drinks took so long to be made.”

Oscar, being the professional that he is, agrees and begins making another Sundia for them.

“But can you pour it into two glasses and make sure that both of them are rimmed with that spicy salt?”

They are insufferable.

After they leave, the bar lightens up and the air is fresher without their two stink holes polluting it up. I tell Oscar how nice he was to them and let him know that I will be writing a blog post abut them. He writes down the name of the blog and pretends that he is going to go read it.

“I’ll check it out,” he says. I know he won’t. In his eyes, I am just some drunk sitting at his bar and he is counting the minutes until I leave. But I did have a great time there last night. And Oscar, if you read this, give me a sign. Tell me something that we talked about last night. Thanks for the drinks. You were great.

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61 Responses to Why I Would Rather Wait on Men Than Women

  1. Jenny says:

    great…now I’ll be obsessively checking back here to see if Oscar chimes in. Women like this are the reason I teach preschool instead of serving. I’d rather watch kids eat their boogers all the live long day than have to deal with entitled vapid twats like that. Plus I hate most people over the age of 10. Servers are saints in my opinion.

    Great post Bitchy! Love the new site.

    Love,

    A 30% tipper

  2. Betsy says:

    I know those girls…well….some girls JUST like them……lol…

  3. Marsha says:

    Folks like this can try the patience of a saint. One can only HOPE that most people will READ THE DESCRIPTION on the menu. *sheesh* Don’t people realize that the chef/bartender wrote the menu BECAUSE IT’S REALLY GOOD the way it’s written?!??! Good God.

  4. Carrie says:

    I have never ordered a drink and not understood the basic concept of what it is. I stick to draft or bottled beer. It’s a waste of revenue to throw drinks down the sink just because “two sink-holes” can’t find dates, and take advantage of “Happy Hour Prices,” because the first drinks “too soooo looonng.” Uh.. this is a case where the customer is not only “not right,” but purposefully taking advantage of being a customer. “Oscar” is a saintly bartender whom, I’m sure, deserves better customers than those two. My deepest condolences to those poured down drinks.. I would have enjoyed them. Allow me to YouTube “Taps.”

    • Anonymous says:

      Bitch didn’t even touch that poor drink…. That is alcohol abuse, and it needs to be stopped. That alcohol deserves better than to be treated that way.

  5. iGoByEllie says:

    As I always say – Bitches be crazy.
    Props to all the bartenders, especially all of my coworkers, they are awesome!

  6. Lane says:

    As a female server, I always wondered if this was a gender issue. Every time I saw a gaggle of women coming in, I’d pray they wouldn’t sit in my section. Picky, snotty, condescending and crappy tippers. Though I did often notice that one male counterpart always did well with them, he was also pretty attractive. That being said, I’d rather wait on men any day of the week.

  7. The new website layout looks great. Indecisive people who order random things not knowing what’s in it boggles my mind. It’s like someone with a seafood allergy asking for a 1/2 lobster.

  8. Those two were a couple of TOOLS. Oscar will get his revenge.

  9. Kimberly says:

    Sometimes I wonder if this behavior is due to them being brain washed into thinking they are little princesses and now as “adults” they still have that in their heads and expect that every one put up with their bull shit. Only sadly they are delusional and don’t realize that they are being total bitches. Men are so much easier to deal with in general. In my experience any way.

  10. Bunny Tickle Britches says:

    Why would I rather serve guys?

    Because a group of three semi-drunk guys will each lay down $20 bill on a $40 tab, leaving me with a tidy 50% tip. And they won’t even think about it.

    Bitches will pull a calculator, vise, and hack saw out of their purses so that they can fucking cut pennies in half. “See, all equal now girls!” (with giggles).

  11. Alecta says:

    Please. This is not a gender thing. I can’t count how many suits I’ve watched ordering expensive wine, tasti g it and refusing it to prove he’s got a pair. Bei g an ass, strutting for the girl stupid enough to go out with him.

  12. sean says:

    This is like your own missed connection add lol

  13. Loren says:

    I am so glad we don’t serve alcohol at our restaurant….

  14. It’s a wonder these two prizes are still single!

  15. Carrie says:

    Need clarification on “”Bitch#1 & #2″

    “A few minutes later he gives Bitch #2(I think he meant #1) the drink that she should have ordered in the first fucking place.”- This drink is “too sweet,” the Margarita w/lime juice, cilantro, and Tequila.

    “Of course Bitch #2 wants to taste it to give her approval..”
    ( #2 wanted the straw to taste #1′s drink, the cilantro/Tequila concoction, right?.. Margaritas are not made with Rum).

    BECAUSE.. #2 wanted Oscar to read her mind about eyeing a drink a fellow patron had, right? Not even knowing what the drink is?? is there a bartender app for that??

    Do these two annoyances have real jobs?? Is this why I don’t have a real job?

  16. Carrie says:

    Wow! You replied to me! The Famous Bitchy Waiter!

  17. Joshua A. says:

    In agree with you although in general women don’t bug me. Then again I’ve worked mostly at small neighborhood bars and I’m good at flirting with ladies. I will say however that I had one girl come in that drove me nuts. Firstly, she had a crush on me which is usually a good thing, but not with her. She was a fellow server so you would think she would be decent. She would come in and complain about the pour of her drink (which was 1.5 oz.), she would complain on the refill that she wanted the same glass with new ice, but then change her mind next time she ordered. She would proceed to get shitfaced, super loud and handsy. At the end of it all you might get a great tip if she could still process thought, or you might get nothing. I will take not dealing with the shit over getting a good tip.

  18. Beezerbomb says:

    Bitchy Waiter…you are one of my favorites, but jeez…I’m female and I’m CONSISTENTLY polite to servers. I’ve never been one, but I truly appreciate what they put up with and am unfailingly polite unless they themselves do something super-douchie. I feel like you’ve written off my entire gender with this blog. Please reconsider…we’re not all vapid twats.

  19. Works waytoohard says:

    The 3 things women in bars/restaurants ALWAYS do: 1. Separate checks (or splitting the tab with X amount in cash, Y amount on THIS card, etc.). 2. Ice waters with straws. 3. $3 tip. Everytime..

  20. Carrie says:

    No.. we aren’t.. but please don’t use “twats” as an adjective for our gender. I know it’s free speech on your part, I get it. I am polite to all servers because they deserve it and I want to support people doing a good job.

    • The Bitchy Waiter says:

      I’m sorry.

      • Flat Tire Homecoming Date says:

        I say no sorries allowed. A twat is a twat is a twat. Unless you associate with the referenced twats’ actions, the “twat” reference doesn’t apply to you. My past experiences say men tip better. Women pull out a calculator and work it out to the penny. Men get in a cock fight and throw out bills until they feel they’ve thrown down enough. It usually ends up in the server’s favor. I’ll take the cock fight.

    • The women of the world thank you

  21. Carrie says:

    Not you Bitchy Waiter.. the poster.. those two bitches would have pissed me off too! If I were there I’d laugh myself silly!!

  22. Kelly says:

    Just want to tell you what an amazing writer you are! You always manage to put a smile on my face. Reading your blog makes serving a little bit easier. Keep up the good work! THANK YOU!!

  23. Jenny says:

    I’ve never been more annoyed with women over men as a waitress. For instance we have two sets of female couples who are fairly regular and are always very lovely. For me it all depends on the personality of the individual and has nothing to do with gender.
    I’ve had experiences of really happy women and men to the extremely miserable cases, to everything in-between. It can either be an individual person, or the entire table. It’s not a gender thing, and I don’t get all these debates about whether you prefer to serve men or women.

  24. Myyna says:

    As I read your posts I can’t believe how polite are waiters and bartenders in USA or New York. I’m from capital of Czech Republic and the waiters here act like they are gods and I swear all of them hate their costumers and they don’t even hide it. They are not able to pretend some kind of politeness. Really. It’s sad.
    Like your blog, good job :).

  25. Christine says:

    If I order a drink and it’s not what I thought it was going to be, I drink it anyway! 1-Because they made what I ordered, it’s my own damn fault if it’s not what I wanted. 2- It’s alcohol!

    • Jenny says:

      Unfortunately some people don’t seem to understand the conception that alcohol is still alcohol even if it’s not their favourite. :P

  26. Waiting tables makes me hate people says:

    I am a female and a waiter and this cracks me up….unfortunately it is so true. Yes, there are women out there that can be polite and not needy as hell but I would really like it if I didn’t have to waste my precious moments as a waiter dealing with them. Bitchy, honestly you make my day, everyday! Stupid bitches. Honestly!

  27. LOVE the new home, BW! those 2 beeyotches will always be single; can you imagine being married to one of those demanding whores? kinda gruesome looking whores too.

  28. Shawna says:

    Nice digs, Bitchy. I’m not a lawyer or anything, but I would put a black line across their eyes to conceal their identities. You don’t want to have to waste your vodka money defending yourself against the likes of them. Ijs

  29. Annabehl says:

    Although I agree that women tend to be more annoying than men in these situations, I think it’s more of a classless, entitled, spoilt-brat, look-at-me attitude than a gender thing. If I had a dollar for every bitch/douchebag who did this to me on a nightly basis…….I would have $767.00.

  30. jessica says:

    you have no idea how much better I feel when I come home from dealing with bitches like this, only to know that everyone else has the same feelings as I do about women! I hate hate hate tables of women only. They suck at tipping, they want everything on the side, they run me to death and they camp out so I can’t turn the table. that bartender is a flipping saint, I wouldn’t have been able to keep the hate out of my voice.

  31. I was a cocktail waitress once upon a time. I had problems with men and women. Mostly, the men were handsy. One ran out of money and expected me to buy his drinks with the tips he had given me. I bought him one drink and then told him the bartender cut him off. Women did not have the same income as men, so if anyone was cheap, I do understand. I am afraid I would not give anyone another drink if that person ordered the wrong drink. I would expect the woman to pay for the replacement drink and either leave the first drink or give it to her friend or someone else.

    Any woman who brings a laptop or pad to a bar and searches dating sites is never going to find anyone in the bar. That is just so wrong and weird.

  32. Karla says:

    Really? Here, in Australia, it would simply be:

    “Well, that is what you ordered so pay for it, drink it, and shut the fuck up!”

    Followed by:

    “Well, I don’t care how long the drinks took… Happy Hour is over! Shut the fuck up!”

    Then lastly:

    “Get that laptop off my bar and, just for good measure, shut the fuck up!”.

    This is why we order 10 drinks at once during Happy Hour… and never bring a laptop to a pub.

    • MrsMac says:

      The last time I ordered the wrong drink I drank even though I hated it (although I pretended to love it) because
      1) I was my fault I didn’t order the right damn drink
      2) It still contained the important ingredient of alcohol
      3) I didn’t want to look like a moron who just goes around accidentally/deliberately ordering drinks I don’t want. I prefer everyone to assume I’m cool and with it enough to know exactly what I’m ordering, even when I’m not.

  33. euphoric_mania says:

    Don’t get all in a huff, he isn’t saying that *every* woman is like this. In the service industry we make generalizations. We can’t help it, we see so many people and it becomes second nature to categorize them based on the way they dress, talk or behave. There are sometimes exceptions to rules, but more often than not we call em like we see em. I would rather have a group of dudes at my bar, as long as they aren’t “bros” than a group of females, unless they’re lesbians. Because lesbians love homos. And they tip well. And sometimes they look like twinks.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve found that where I live gay men tip best; although I have gotten crappy or no tips from gay men before, they’re almost always really sweet and funny and tip well. Then again I do live near a neighborhood with a lot of gay bars, so a lot of them are probably bartenders or servers themselves. Classic correlation vs causation.

  34. Jimmy says:

    I share this exact same opinion. Of course, it’s simply a generalization, but after 6 years of waiting tables I always prefer waiting on men over women.

    One time I had a group of four ladies sit down while I was neck deep in the weeds. One of them goes on and on about how it’s so and so’s birthday and am I going to sing to them and all this other stuff that I really don’t care about. Then I ask what would they like to drink and one says “I’ll take a club soda with a lime” and the rest chime in in unison “OH THAT SOUNDS GREAT I’LL TAKE ONE TOO!!” I’m pretty sure I rolled my eyes right in front of them, but they were so into themselves thinking they were sooo cute ordering that. It was a pain to get club soda at that particular restaurant I was working at because the only spot I could get it from was the bar. They guzzled that shit down so quick and didn’t leave a cent over an 15% tip even after we did sing happy birthday.

  35. Fitz says:

    I hate women..hate them. I do not want to see a table of women in my section, especially if I see a male server with a booth open. It makes me want to cunt punch the hostess. Two times have I liked having women at my table. One being Friday night when two women with a kid (don’t worry, she was old enough not color on the walls) left me $15 on a $20. The other was the lesbian couple I had today that knew the value of tipping. I’m straight..but I hope they come back to my table, I’ll flash a few more smiles and throw some more winks their way.

    What I hate more than a table full of women, is insecure women out with their husbands/boyfriends. We don’t do automatic gratuity so guess who got an $8 tip on a fucking 8 top tonight. $2 being from a $53 bill. Why? They were all happy, except the one cunt who kept sending her drinks back because they “tasted funny.” Then I got to watch all the women take the tickets from their husbands and fix the tip how they think it should be.

    Sorry…I really needed to be able to bitch…

    • Anonymous says:

      Don’t apologize, most of us are here to bitch and let others bitch under the tutelage of father bitchy, the bitchmaster. :)

  36. Keara says:

    I hate waiting on women because they are all in a silent competition to order and eat less than the other.

    “Are you going to get an appetizer? No, okay, me neither.”

    “Oh, you two are splitting a salad? Well, does anyone want to split mine with me?”

    “Can I get this with no starch, extra vegetables? Can I get it cooked in olive oil, no butter? A 10 oz steak is the smallest you have? Could you put this on separate plates for us?”

    “Oh the chocolate torte looks good, I want that…is anyone else going to have dessert? Oh, I guess I’ll pass then.”

    WHY DO YOU GO OUT TO EAT? TO EAT! SO DO IT!

  37. sally says:

    I used to hate waiting on women in certain professions the most, specifically, groups of nurses or teachers. They were ALWAYS extremely picky about everything they ordered, very ready to complain about the smallest things, and they never left a good tip.
    Surprisingly to me at the time, I usually found beautiful or obviously wealthy women to be nice and generous. Famous women were usually very nice as were the wives of famous men–unless the famous man was a young athlete.
    I think there are two major reasons women are so difficult in restaurants–one, they typically don’t have as much money as men– and two, they are counting calories just as much as they count their pennies. So going out to eat is a stressful event for them.

    Love your new page Bitchy! Happy housewarming! ;-)

  38. Tazlima says:

    I think part of it is that a lot of women are accustomed to being treated like princesses to the point that they’re ridiculous.

    The worst example of this I ever saw was a woman who came into the vet’s office where I worked. She was all dolled up, heels, low cut shirt, perfectly manicured long-ass nails, you know the type. She buys a bag of dog food and asks if I can carry it to her car for her, then wants me to put her dog’s new tag on its collar (a process that involved squeezing a pair of *gasp* pliers).

    Now I usually didn’t mind helping people with that sort of thing. A lot of the clientele were senior citizens or had back or shoulder problems. What got me was that she actually said she couldn’t do it (in this nauseating simpering tone of voice) because she was a girl.

    Clearly she was accustomed to getting men to do all her crap for her and it was like it didn’t occur that the same behavior wouldn’t work on someone who didn’t want to bone her.

    Well guess what princess? 1) I’m a girl too. 2) Most people lift 40 lb bags of dogfood with their arms rather than their genitals, so there’s really no connection is there?

    I hate to think how she would behave in a restaurant.

  39. Jason says:

    As a bartender I hate when people think they can ask me to use any ingredient in the kitchen to make their drink. Cilantro? Anchovy stuffed olives? Fresh berries? I ain’t got time fo dat. Also if I make you a drink, put it in front of you and you push it back at me without even tasting it, I’m charging you for it and you’re going to the back of the queue before I make you something else.

    And Oscar should have used the old “I’m sorry, once happy hour is over the price changes in the computer automatically, I have no control over it”

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  44. Oscar says:

    Hello everyone,
    Well lets start off by me apologizing for the late reply. The article was great! You want to know what was the worst part about that night? I had health department walk in!! girls like these at the end of the day i dont even care if they tip just because i know they will just waste my time, so I just smile and keep on working just like we are suppose to “being proffesional, great service”. Loved all of your comments and please be more than welcomed to come to Yerba Buena, 1 perry st! Where I Bartend. Your bartender Oscar!

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