A Comment on Comments

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I started this blog called The Bitchy Waiter. It was back when I was still fresh and young like a juicy peach just waiting to be picked. The third blog post I ever wrote was a wispy little thing called Are You Really Allergic To That? It only got a few hits because I was a newbie blogger and nobody cared. Not much unlike today, really. A couple of months ago, someone posted a comment. They may have been a little tardy to the party, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t comment about their comment. Shall we begin?

Actually, I find you annoying!!! I actually am allergic to MSG, Cherries, artificial sweetener, and a few other things. My throat will actually swell up if I even come near these foods. 

Am I to believe that if you walk past a bowl of cherries or a packet of Splenda, your throat will swell up. You don’t even have to eat them? Now that is really fucking allergic and not at all in any way whatsoever an exaggeration.

I do my best not to order foods that do not contain any of my allergies but sometimes I have to change or take something off of my plate. I know it can be aggravating but that is how it is. I have been a waitress before and I did not mind changing an order or accommodating someone with allergies. I do not believe you should be a waiter or even work in this profession.

I agree. I should not be a waiter or even work in this profession. Starting tomorrow, I will be an astronaut. Can’t wait.

You are not suited to be a waiter. You are more annoying than you say your customers are. You are abusive and rude to children. You should never call a child the names you call them and you should not react in an abusive way to children.

According the closet full of black pants and shirts with food stains all over them, I am perfectly suited to be a waiter. Also, you have not met me or my customers so you have no way to judge who is the most annoying. You’ll just have to take my word for it that the customers are more annoying than I am. As for me abusing children and calling them names, I hardly consider feeding an asshole child Tabasco sauce when their parents aren’t looking an abusive act. I think it falls more under the sadist column, for sure.

You should be FIRED from your job and be banned from being a waiter any where in this country!

I agree. Please alert my bosses that you think I should be fired for offending you. I know they will be so happy to hear from you. Please let me know how to get on that list for being banned from being a waiter anywhere in this country. All these years, I have just been doing it one restaurant at a time, but if there is a quicker way to being blacklisted, I’d love to know about it.

I do hope that one day you are treated the way that you treat others and I also hope that you will be treated exactly in the way you want to treat others. 

I hope that someday you can figure out how to not the say the same thing twice in one sentence and I also hope you can figure out exactly how to not say the same thing twice in one sentence.

I also hope you never have children but if you do, then do the decent thing and give them up for adoption to a family who will love and treasure children the way they should be treated.

Trust me, I am not having kids. That is one treasure I don’t want. I like spending my money on things like Paris vacations and iPads instead of baby formula and diapers. Some people may call that selfish, but I think it’s smart. There are plenty of people who feel the same way I do but went ahead and had kids anyway. Those are the really shitty parents.

I also hope that carma gives you hell and you realize just how cruel, obnoxious, of a person you are……. 

karma……

I hope you get fired, and have to grow up and realize how blessed you were to have a job and realize how much of a jerk you were and that is why you have lost your job. 

I hope I get fired and then have more time to write emails with long run on sentences and send them out to blogs and just keep on making the sentence longer by adding “and” to it and so on and so on.

Maybe you will become homeless, and so poor that you would be happy to have a job. Because at this point you should not look down through your over sized arrogant nose at others and realize you are scum off the bottom of the people you SERVE shoes. 

Anyone who can look down through their nose has some weird fucked up nose shit happening. Also, I am not scum off the bottom of the people I SERVE shoes. I am the scum off the bottom of the shoes of the people I SERVE.

I believe that being a waiter/waitress can be a Nobel profession just as any other job can be unless you reduce yourself to being scum! And believe me you have reduced yourself to scum. 

I did not realize that waiting tables was a Nobel profession. I am so excited that I am in the running for that. I might be the first scum to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Grow up and learn how to your job without being a pain in the butt. Or quit your job and find a job somewhere where the sight of you will not make every one around you want to puke when in your presence… May God have mercy on all the people who have to put up with someone like you and your big headed arrogant self!!!! 

You have never worked with me so you don’t know that I am a pain in the butt. I might be, I might not be. You don’t know for certain. Perhaps it would be better if I found a job out of the view of humanity so that people can stop puking when they see me. Perhaps a job in the sewers would be good for me. That way, very few people will see me and if they do see me and feel the need to puke, they will be right there in the sewer anyway so it’ll be no big deal. Trouble is, I don’t have any experience working in the sewers. Would it be alright if I used you for a reference? You seem to be the best sewer troll whore around and I am sure your name will get me far in the world of sewage. Maybe then, God will have mercy on all the people who have put up with my big head!!!!! Truth be told though, it’s not my head that is big, it’s just the hair.

Thank you for your comment. It was great.

Love,
The Bitchy Waiter

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35 Responses to A Comment on Comments

  1. Chunky Mama says:

    Oh Bitchy, you never fail to make my day!

  2. YES. That was brilliant.

  3. Anonymous says:

    hahaha you made me laugh out loud. what a comment. and if you don't like the blog, DONT READ IT. like duh! LOVE YOU! mean itk

  4. diana says:

    oh sweet mary, mother of god! those commenters have no ideas or clues how servers/waiters job is like. thanks for the giggles!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Look down through your nose! Bahahaha! I thought the same thing you did. "That would be one weird looking nose! Much like those people who stretch their earlobes or nostrils out and cram bones or what-not through them." You are too attractive to have a bone through your nose so please refrain from that new fad. I know you tend to look down on people through your nose but let's not make it a reality.

  6. I'm just going to have fun with this part of her comment for now: "I do my best not to order foods that do not contain any of my allergies but sometimes I have to change or take something off of my plate. I know it can be aggravating but that is how it is. I have been a waitress before and I did not mind changing an order or accommodating someone with allergies. I do not believe you should be a waiter or even work in this profession."Okay, simple fix. She meant "allergens" instead of allergies. She could not possibly eat her allergies. She HAS allergies. The things that trigger them are "allergens."Also, I think she meant she does her best to not order anything that would trigger said allergies. But if you read carefully, that's not what she says: "I do my best not to order foods that do not contain any of my allergies (sic)…" What she is actually saying is that she purposely orders food that contains the very things that make her choke up and asphyxiate. Some kind of kinky weird food sex fetish???I don't know. I just gotta wonder about some people. ;-)

  7. Anonymous says:

    Oh sweet, sweet, big haired boy I have never met… I love you, I love your humor and I hope someday I have the priveledge of letting my obnoxious kid annoy you and eat his Tabasco sauce with glee…

  8. Aquarili says:

    Totes BRILL!!!! Te quiero, te quiero, te quiero!!! :)

  9. Jpop says:

    *sigh* Same here! The long vacations, 6 cars, extensive shoe collection, and sleeping in til noon whenever I want because I'm not waited down with kids is just the pits. :D

  10. Cat M says:

    Just great! Now I have this horrible vision of having a nose with giant holes in it that I can look down through. It's really quite creepy!

  11. Anonymous says:

    I also write a "bitchy" blog and I have had to run a disclaimer on my "about" page, stating "These are not necessarily my opinions , nor do they it belong to anyone I know. It is simply an alternative point of view, if you want all the sweetness and hearts and flowers blogs; go find them, there only hundreds of them out there" this has seemed to stop the backlash of comments by people taking it too seriously.. lighten up people.. it's just a blog…—cheryl

  12. Joanne says:

    I noticed that too. What a masochistic troll with too much time to waste. Perhaps she should become an annoying server that looks down through her nose at others, while also being the scum off of the bottom of *continue run on sentence with loads of terrible grammar*

  13. Anonymous says:

    I think, now that we have landed on Mars, all children should be sent to live there. They can come back when they are of legal drinking age, not before. I hate kids, and it's because of waitressing.

  14. Anonymous says:

    I came across your blog over a year ago and have been following ever since. I'm glad I did because there are many things I never thought about as a customer in a restaurant. Now, I always make sure to tip about/at least 15% even if service was poor (despite living in CA where servers still get minimum wage).

  15. BW, there were scads of new "bitchy Waiter" posts by guest bloggers on my reader yesterday. But, when I clicked on the titles to read, they were gone. I probably wouldn't have paid attention except for the sheer number of them. Did your blog go crazy and try to sabotage you? Or, did a jealous blogger, waiter, restaurant owner hack into your blog?Signed,Baffled

  16. JoBo says:

    Sewer Troll Whore!! Bwahahahaha! I love you Bitchy…

  17. Rogue Wino says:

    AAhahahadunno 'bout you, but I'm a bitch on my blog because I have to be so damn nice in real life

  18. Sammy says:

    I enjoyed that so much it sent chills down my spine!Exactly the same self important fool you were talking about in the first place.FOOL!

  19. LOVE IT! kids are a PITFA; I like doing what I want, when I want, where I want, why I want, and how I want. cause it's all about ME!keep on bitchin' cause haters gonna hate!

  20. Love it, love it, love it. It appears "scum" was the word of the day for these "people" and I use that term loosely. I must meet Cherry Allergy Girl/Boy….the urge to throw MSG covered cherries stuffed with Sweet and Low at her/him, sit back with my cosmo to watch the fun would just be too much for me. And Mrs. I use to be a waitress and have allergy issues and moved heaven and earth for my customers who had issues……child please. So you want kudos for not serving a customer food that you know could kill them ? *clap *clap. ALL HAIL THE BW!!!

  21. JBT says:

    I have a question for the last commenter…sure, waiting on bratty kids made you hate them, but if the parents leave you a HUGE tip does that make up for it? Like, say, $20 on $40?

  22. Swissy says:

    did anyone read carma as caramel? or camel?these cold medicines are too strong for me.

  23. Anonymous says:

    "I might be the first scum to win the Nobel Peace Prize."Um, no. That would have been Kissinger.This was better than a comped dessert.

  24. Mary A. says:

    You serve SHOES? Are they cute? How do they taste? Why don't you ever talk about that?

  25. Anonymous says:

    *~*~*~*~Slow Clap~*~*~*~*

  26. This was such an actual lol moment… did this person think before they wrote that?And I'd like to see how noble they think it is when they have to do it…just once I'd love to get those ungrateful, rude customers to put on an apron and take food to people. I'd like to see them after a Saturday!

  27. Anonymous says:

    I don't know you but I love you. The fact is the majority of the people who took your blog way to personally here and then posted have probably never worked in the business and dealt with the likes of, well, themselves. I am very good at bartending. I am grateful for the money I EARN at my job, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck or that I have to like it. Or the idiots I wait on. Of course, they aren't all idiots; waiting on industry folks is a breeze :) Thanks for all of your fabulous responses bitchy! Someone needs to say it!

  28. Yes. There's nothing worse than shitty kids who destroy your section and then the parents leaving you ten percent…big tip makes the fact I have to sweep all the sugar and bread off the floor for ten minutes less excruciating and annoying

  29. Anonymous says:

    Oh, Hell no! The kids can come back from Mars after the "frat/sorority house stage" of child development. Not a minute sooner. :-D ~PolishSpring

  30. BW, Why did you have a battle of wits with an unarmed person? You know you will win. Nowever, it was quite entertaining. She needs a job in the sewers where she cannot get internet signals.

  31. Trina Dubya says:

    Oh, Bitchy, I do love your blog.

  32. Jessica says:

    Bitchy Waiter? Bitchy Shoe Salesman? Bitchy Astronaut? I'm so confused!LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE your blog! Thanks for the laughs in an otherwise dreary, rainy day :-)

  33. This sounds suspiciously like the rantings of that stupid bitch Katie from the Dr. Phil brat ban episode.It's a wonder that she's found time to comment on blogs, what with all the time she spends getting kicked off airplanes and being a dramatic bitch.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I am the one who posted this comment. I have not been back to read your blog in a very long time. I have a friend who loves to read blogs, and somehow came across your blog and your comment on my post. She called me and said “you must read this”. I am a freelance writer. I am a stay at home mom and wife. I write in my spare time. I wrote that comment after having a very serious surgery. Since most of your blog post has many errors and misspelled words, I did not try to write with perfect grammar. I did not see any need to be perfect. When I was fresh out of High School and in College I did work as a waitress. I worked hard and I never had a customer complain about the way I did my job. I do agree that being a waitress/waiter is hard work and yes sometimes you have to put up with a lot of “crap” but, I do believe that Karma plays a big part in your job. If you treat someone badly and make jokes behind their back, and do things to them like spit in their food, say their credit card will not work, make front of their families, or just treat them badly; then you will treat them badly in return by them and other customers. I believe your blog shows what kind of waiter you are and how you treat people. Your blog shows what kind of Karma you deserve. I do have many allergies. I am allergic to cherries, msg (monosodium glutamate), artificial sweeteners, and other foods. I do research online. I look up menu’s of restaurants, I make sure before I enter a place what foods they serve and I do explain to a waiter or waitress that my throat will swell if I eat these foods, that I can get really bad migraines, and can become really bad sick. I even call ahead and speak to waiters/waitresses and make sure my allergies are not a problem. I am blessed to have a husband, family, and friends, who know how serious my allergies are; therefore, we have learned to work around my allergies. What bothers me is that you treat people with allergies as if they are crazy or as if they do not deserve to eat out. The way you treat people is appalling. This is very offensive.You also are offensive in the way that you speak about children. I do not care if you have children. In fact, if you never have children and waste your money on objects and whatever you want to waste your money on for the rest of your life; I could care less. But do not talk about children like they are animals. Do not put hot sauce in their food. Do not spill drinks on them. Do not call them names. Do not be offensive or abusive to them. If you do not want to be around them, take yourself to a remote Island, start a restaurant for adults and people like yourself and be happy.I am surprised that my comment actually got to you so much that you actually gave my comment it’s very own blog post. Maybe I made you think, lol. I am not sure, either way; I am not a hateful person. I do not wish you harm. I do think if you have so many problems with your job that all you can do is sit around and complain all day, that maybe you should find another profession. Since you are still working in this profession I am assuming that you are going nowhere and you have made being a waiter your life long profession. Therefore, you have settled into be the person who does something you obviously hates and gripes to all those around them who will listen are read about your sad life.I will pray that maybe your life turns around and you get a job you love and maybe you can be happy. As for the people who have made negative comments towards me, you do not know me, who I am, or my situation. Get off the computer. Walk outside and look around, there is this amazing place called the world. Today so many people are tied to their phones, computers, I-pads, and other electronics that they forget to enjoy life. And before they know it life is gone. So turn off the computer, turn off your phone, and spend some time with your family, friends, and loved ones…. Have a blessed night

  35. I have kids also ont agree with bitchy on that point however, it is as easy as dont read it. If i see that the post is about a kid, i just move on to the next, cant hold it against someone if they dont like kids. I hate artichokes, but nobody has ever gotten mad over me saying so Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one some have two, and some are bigger then others. Move on

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