A Comment on Comments

Wow, what a day yesterday was. Not only was it the celebration of our country’s independence, Dr. Phil lowered his standards by allowing me to be on his show. I got a lot of traffic yesterday and a lot of comments to go with it. Most of them were great but a few of them were just crying out for a response. That’s right, folks. It’s time for a Comment on Comments! (All typos and misspellings belong to the commenter.)

Comment number one comes from a neanderthal named Bob who has this to say: 

Dude… after watching Dr.Phil I had to come on here and tell you… clearly you are a homosexual and that’s why you hate kids, because you will never have any offspring through your anal actvities with the prep cooks at your restaurant. Secondly,  cleaning up broken glass and spills caused by your guests…newsflash… IS YOUR JOB. You are there to serve your guests in any which way possible not just what it says in your “job description”.  I hope you get aids next time you fuck your boyfriend.

Wow, Bob. That, coming from someone I don’t know at all and have absolutely no relationship with,  really hurts. Clearly, you have some issues with gay men which works out fine because more than likely they have an even bigger issue with you. First, I don’t hate kids because I am gay. That argument has no logic. Secondly, anal activities with prep cooks sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe you should look into that. I know, I know, you’re not gay, but me thinks thou dost protest too much. Thirdly, contrary to your beliefs, I am not at work to serve “guests in any which way.” You are confusing me with the people you meet on Craigslist. Finally, you saying you hope I get AIDS the next time I fuck my boyfriend makes no sense either. One doesn’t simply get AIDS. One contracts the HIV virus. And I don’t have a boyfriend; I have a husband who I have been with  for 21 years. Fuck off.

Here is what Kay had to say:

If only your mom had practiced abstinence then we wouldn’t have to look at your ridiculous hair or hear about how you don’t like children and have completely forgotten that you were once an ugly little kid that people had to deal with. I’m sure you remember being perfect, but we all know that’s not true. Congrats on being an internet troll. I hope one day you get to walk a mile in the shoes of parents. I also hope that one day you’ll find an actual talent other than being someone’s server and a professional complainer.

Oh Kay. Dear, sweet addle-brained Kay. Don’t even try to pretend that you don’t like my hair. You know you do. Also, I am not an Internet troll. Internet trolls are people who go to blogs and leave comments either anonymously or under a name that can be traced back to them. Sorta like you, Kay, you Internet troll. I am sorry to disappoint you, but I will never walk a mile in the shoes of a parent because, unlike my mother,  I have decided I don’t want to be a parent. Besides, I don’t like the shoes that parents wear and they’re probably way too big for me. As for another talent, I have many. Here’s one of them.

Brian says: 

20% tip is high….these uneducated people with no skills are making to much money…20% of 40$ bill is like 9$. be a stripper i pay them more….because you bring me food and fill my glass that dont deserve 20% the cooks deserve more they work harder

Okay, Brian. Got it. Thanks. Carry on with your keen way of life by visiting more strip clubs and miscalculating what 20% is. In the meantime, learn some grammar.

Thank you for all the comments. I read every single one. Not only because I care about what people have to say, but because I have no life and I crave the attention. Good tips to you all.

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42 thoughts on “A Comment on Comments

  1. Jessica M.

    To Brian I want to say so many things. But I will refrain from the vulgarities. I will say, if you think so little of those in food and beverage then go to a drive thru or better yet, stay home and cook and serve yourself. Also, I challenge you to work at any restaurant for one week and then you can have an opinion. Most importantly, I would rather eat dirt than accept the crappy tip from your ignorant, closed minded piece of shit self.Whew, that felt good. Thank you!

  2. Lissa

    There is NOTHING better in life than walking to your table with 8 drinks on a tray and some kid runs into you..and everyone looks at you like you are the moron! hey parents, watch your kids PUBLIC places. Im just sayin'

  3. Ellen H

    OH MY GOODNESS!!! I cannot stand homophobic people talking to gay people the way some did to you here. They're just ignorant. I watched Dr. Phil and saw you and was like "WOWW! He's amazing!" I don't like kids either and I fully agree with you about not bringing your kids to restaurants- it's annoyin to hear them. You're amazing and I love your bitching 🙂 I like your hair too! And if you are gay, Iove you even more 🙂 KEEP IT UP!! =)

  4. Swirls Cupcake Junkies

    I think that you make VERY VALID points!Most of the people that post negative comments on your blog have NEVER been in the service industry.That being said,these people should be thankful that you choose to let off steam by writing a blog rather than spitting in their food like some servers have been known to do…. =)

  5. Frank Giannantonio

    Holy mackerel, Bitchy. That first comment hurt my fuckin feelings. Dr. Phil's audience are nuckin' futs. Do you get a lot of that kinda shit? You're always the inspiration, man. These cats on reddit have been giving me worlds of shit about my crappy blog and I've been down about it, but you just picked me up, man. Keep on truckin, my brother.

  6. Sarah L

    When I saw what you had to say on Dr Phil, I thought you were a total douche. Coming on your site and seeing what you really meant tho…I agree. I would never take my kid to a high end restaurant because if I am paying to go there, I want to enjoy myself and so do the others I'm sure. But so help me…if someone who works at a Denny's was banning my kid…that is ridick! I'm glad you were able to distinguish the difference, Bitchy. You rule!

  7. Laurel Scullion

    I am a 31 year old single mother of 3 who has been a server for 13 years, who has a college degree but lost my "big girl" job during the recession. To you fucks who say I am uneducated because i am waiting tables..i carried a 4.0 all through college.. Fuck off!! oh.. i love my kids but cant stand to wait on yours, especially if you havn't taught them the proper way to act in public! Thank you Bitchy waiter for voicing what we all want to say all the time! Your the best!!!!

  8. SkippyMom

    How hard is it to figure 20% of $40? Bwahahahahaha – he gave himself an EASY example and STILL screwed it up. And Homophobe number 1 simply has to be the most unintelligent [actually I am screaming: "STUPID!!!"] person I have ever had the displeasure of reading on your blog. WOW. And HE watches Dr. Phil? Go figure. I have no idea why people feel the need to pick on your hair. Maybe because it is such a defining look – but I think it is great. People pay money to get their hair to do that. I know it doesn't bother you – but gosh I wish they would just stop already. It's like they can't make a valid argument about something of importance so, splutter "Your hair is ugly" – it's like a 3rd grade playground. Jeesh Sorry I missed it. I would've loved to see you go on about people and their kids. Parents of "perfect" children just do not get it. Sigh.

  9. runningcupcakesandlife

    You are so right and your hair is fantastic! It is quite frustrating to deal with ignorant (and stupid) people, but take comfort in knowing you aren't one of them.And congrats on your 21 year marriage. That's pretty sweet!

  10. The Life of Rashell

    Dear Bitchy Waiter…YOU ROCK! You make me laugh, you're witty, hard working, and SO RIGHT about so many things. Isn't it amazing how when people can't argue with the point you've made, they suddenly attack your sexuality? So transparent and pathetic! I am a 33-year old straight woman with several gay friends who are like brothers (or sisters) to me! I just think you're awesome!!!

  11. _vin

    Kids are great! Just don't take them in a bloody restaurant. Can't find a babysitter? Stay in and cook. Can't tip? Stay in and cook? Can't cook? Kill yourself.Props for getting more popular on TV, but what kind of fuckwad watches Dr Phil, anyway?

  12. Anonymous

    Hey B.W., caught you on Dr.Phil by chance yesterday, and I agreed with everything you had to say. Is Dr. Phil on crack?! And how about that rabid Asian woman who was foaming at the mouth. Bet you any money her kid is a holy terror with a name like "Sage" or something. And that horrible soccer mom on stage who made a classist slight towards your career..2 bucks and a can of Slim Fast says she hasn't had a real job since she became a "full time mom" UGH. I work in public service, and I enforce the "brat ban" every chance I get. Love your blog.

  13. Peace

    I never watch that boring colonoscopy bag called Dr. Phil, but I watched it today on youtube 'cause you were there. Gotta say that you were great :)Love your hair! 🙂

  14. MEK

    I'm a housekeeper at a hotel, and I totally understand your beef with kids. They're entitled, smelly, noisy little shits that run amok everywhere and make a mess of everything they get their sticky gross hands on. And not a whole lot of people know this, but you're allowed to tip housekeepers! So leave a even dollar when you travel and your service will improve tenfold 🙂

  15. Becky

    Notice how nobody leaving these negative comments has mentioned their career as a waiter. Perhaps if they gave the job a shot, they would understand the points you are making. Unless they are as stupid as they sound, which in that case they'd be fired their first day ;).

  16. Anonymous

    I completely agree with you. I used to work retail and I spent much time in the fitting rooms picking up Cheerios left behind by ignorant mothers. first of all no where in my job description did it say I needed to pick up after children and second of all by neglecting messes your children make can cause an accident in which YOU'LL BE LIABLE FOR. not the school which has a clearly posted policy of no food or drinks posted on the door at the entrance. I'm now working at a spa in which children are not allowed obviously. there are just some places for children like you mentioned at places that have children's menus and an atmouspher directed at families but if I'm paying 200 or 300 dollars for a meal I want to enjoy it without screaming children.

  17. Anonymous

    I totally agree. I am a waitess and have been for 14 years. I own my own house and have a vacation home. I hate the stereotype that servers are uneducated and have no skills. Most people can t do our job and have no clue what it involves

  18. Jennifer

    I am a mother of two children who are the kings of throwing tantrums. That being said, I am thoughtful enough to look up family friendly places to go eat that will not bother others. There are nights that I like to go out and eat with my husband and dont want to hear screaming and wouldnt mind going to a place that bans children. Those getting offended are not listeneing to the golden word IGNORANCE. Dont lie and try to tell me that you dont get uncomfortable yourself when your kids throwing a fit.

  19. Anonymous

    Dear Mr. B.W.I wish I would have been on the Dr. Phil show sitting next to you! I work in a library and have experienced the most awful behavior (screaming!! banging! throwing!) and the parents do nothing. NOTHING! I agree with you completely that parents should be asked to leave with their ill-behaved children (which are a reflection of the parents, in my opinion). The parents are at fault! And, by the way, I am a parent and I would never tolerate such behavior from my child.Ms. A.B.P.S. Your hair rocks.

  20. Dominion

    I think you are FABULOUS !!! Yes i am a mom & a grandmama. My children were not allowed to act like asshats in public…EVER. I have worked in the service industry & medical profession, and know how rude & entitled people can be. I always hated it when we would pay for a sitter, so we could go have a nice meal & cocktails, only to have to put up with someone else's kids acting up. people don't think about that end of it. I agree with you about not getting involved in telling a customer to control a child, this should be up to the owner/manager to deal with that issue. This to the ignorant cretins…Service industry workers are not "uneducated". and purchasing a meal does not give you the right to abuse the staff.

  21. Anonymous

    why does everyone think if you bash gays that you're a homophobe or gay yourself? thats crazy. if i bash broccoli that doesnt mean i'm afraid of everything broccoli stands for or that i am, in fact, a piece of brocoli. and theyre right… u took it too far with the language about the kids… theyre just kids they dont know any better… u deserved it this time.

    1. Robert

      Hi Anonymous,

      I’ll take a stab at explaining this. Almost a year late but that doesn’t matter since you wouldn’t be coming back to read a response anyway.

      To be honest, if you truly raged against broccoli? I don’t mean you just say you don’t like it, I don’t even mean if you say you hate it, what I mean is if you truly with every fiber of your being wanted that broccoli to suffer a painful and horrible fate?

      Yes, I would think you have a problem. You may not want to jam that broccoli up your man pussy and pleasure yourself with it since broccoli isn’t really a sexual object but there is definitely something going on in your mind that makes your feelings for broccoli far out of the norm for humanity.

      In the case of homophobia the thing going on in the mind that makes the persons feeling far outside of normal often has to do with being brought up taught that homosexuality is wrong and subsequently hating yourself for your own sexual feelings towards the same gender. It doesn’t have to be that but it often is so it is not so unusual, when someone goes on a homophobic rage, to conclude that they may actually harbor latent homosexual feelings themselves.

      Hope I cleared that up for you!

  22. Anonymous

    Dear Bitchy Waiter:Congrats on finally speaking up to those in our society who have absolutely no common sense or common decency. I am only 31, but I am very much appalled by my generation. I cannot understand how there are people who simply do not care enough about others and their environment. Those people need to wake up and realize that the world does not revolve around them, but around the idea of working together for the common good.

  23. Anonymous

    I love your wit and comic response to the mean, nasty and entitled people. I would love it, if nice restaurants would ban kids. I have an idea…if a parent decides to bring a child in a nice reataurant and the child misbehaves, that parent gets to buy dinner for everyone in the place. I bet more parents would stay home or get a babysitter.

  24. Vanessa Faith

    I watched a small portion of Dr Phil yesterday … not enough to really comment on the program itself. But I did work as a waitress for sometime. I am so glad to now be a rural mail carrier … I rarely have to deal with customers at all & most of them appreciate the service they are receiving. As a server you get a lot of shit … looked at as an uneducated person, treated like their mother, etc. BS … I couldn't take it anymore. And as far as kids go … I have been on both sides of that table. I have 5 kids … I have taken them to nice places but immediately removed them if they were acting out in anyway. I remember coming out of the bathroom during one family outing & hearing a burp (loud) I thought I was going to strangle my daughter … really!? I have also been the adult there finally without any of my 5 kids wanting to enjoy a dinner in peace to always end up next to a child with parents who are idiots & let their kids run their greasy ass hands through my hair when I am not looking. And then I have been that server that waited on a family with only 2 kids at the table but by the time they leave it looks like 25 tornados came through. While I realize it is a server's 'job' to wait on the guest but for shit sake clean up after your damn brat! Oh I shouldn't call the child a brat … it really isn't the childs fault. It is the lazy ass parents we have on this earth today that create the lil' shits!More power to you!!! I want to go eat at a child free place once in a while … I am in no way offended if there is a place that doesn't not allow my children in.

  25. Dee

    I like your hair, too.Many years ago, I spent tons of money trying to get mine to look like that (only a darker shade than yours).I also like your moxie in re-stating some of those asinine comments. I particularly relish the thought that Google and other search engines will pick up all that ass-hattery in a couple of hours, and when the authors Google their pseudo-identities, all their friends get to see them in their true colors…My stint as wait staff was very brief, and many, many years ago in a bar, so I only got to see adult jerks acting like bratty kids…

  26. Anonymous

    That's funny b/c the first thing I noticed was the hair, which I think is awesome, and you are blessed to have hair like that! p.s. My g/f and I ALWAYS tip @ least 22%. If service is extra shitty then it's still 20%. Know why? Because I used to work in the server industry and I busted my ass only to have some jerk leave me a buck, or a five, on a $60 or $70 bill!

  27. Dewsterling

    Just like people who use racial epitaphs are considered "racists", it's so unfair! Anonymous, if you look up the word "homophobic" it specifically refers to people who have a phobia (ie irrational dislike/hatred) regarding gay people. Decent human beings don't "bash" other people over issues of race, gender, sexuality, etc. Since you're obviously not a decent human being, in as much as you compare gay bashing to broccoli, you probably don't understand the concept.

  28. NellieVaughn

    That is terribly harsh. I don't understand how people can find themselves getting so upset by someone's blog, which they are never forced to read. And why must someone's sexual preference always come into play. And by the way, I hate children, and I am straight.

  29. Karen

    Bitchy Waiter I love to read your blog everytime you write something new.People can be so brainless sometimes. But from what I learnt from you was you don't give a crap what people think as long as they pay the tip that they are suppose to pay. I use to be a waitress when I was young. And it is a hard job. Love you bitchy waiter,,,

  30. Anonymous

    As a server what I would like to know is why people think everything should always be perfect when you go out to eat- yes you are paying for your food , service, etc. – but if someone watched you at your job – whatever it may be- you have probably made mistakes- unfortunately in the food service industry it's noticed right away – most jobs it probably can be corrected quickly without anyone noticing – or at least not with a pay cut unless it was some major mistake. In the restaurant business it's noticed right away – it could be the servers mistake or the kitchen or someone else involved. Most servers I think will agree we want everything to be perfect for you – you are the reason we have jobs- that goes for the kitchen staff as well. Speaking of the kitchen staff – I don't think the customers truly appreciate what the cooks do back there- they cook hundreds (at least hundreds ) of meals every week – most more – so think about it – of you are that unlucky customer that gets your steak overdone- they will fix it for you- it sucks for you but really?! Nobody's perfect! If it happens repeatedly at the same place? Find a new restaurant to eat at cause obviously they don't care enough about their business! If it's your first time though – give them a second chance- could' be been a bad night- bad luck – whatever- but just remember most of those guys are back there busting their butts to get your food out in a timely manner and tasting delicious – and every time you alter the menu- like – no onions – or can you add this or that ? It just makes their job harder – where I work the cooks do mind it unless their slammed but if they make a mistake on your special order please be understanding! And remember – the cooks feed the whole restaraunt – not just a section – and most kitchens are probably about at the minimum 30 degrees hotter than anywhere else in the restaurant! Also remember that most of them take pride in what they do and want to do it right and I'm not sure completely on this one – but they probably make around $ 12 an hour unless they are head cook or work somewhere fancy .

  31. TracyLea in Arizona

    Hi! Loved seeing you on Dr. Phil (!) One of my fav daytime tv shows.I just had one comment to make (I'm married w/NO CHILDREN). Anyways…it seems like the women with children were either angry or over-emotional (crying a lot).Thank God my husband and I made the choice to not have children….Or I'd of ended up like one of those blubbering bitchy whales "claimin" how wonderful my spawn's are. p.s…..Love, love, love you. Wish you had your own show. You'd be ah-sum.


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