Wow, what a day yesterday was. Not only was it the celebration of our country’s independence, Dr. Phil lowered his standards by allowing me to be on his show. I got a lot of traffic yesterday and a lot of comments to go with it. Most of them were great but a few of them were just crying out for a response. That’s right, folks. It’s time for a Comment on Comments! (All typos and misspellings belong to the commenter.)
Comment number one comes from a neanderthal named Bob who has this to say:
Dude… after watching Dr.Phil I had to come on here and tell you… clearly you are a homosexual and that’s why you hate kids, because you will never have any offspring through your anal actvities with the prep cooks at your restaurant. Secondly, cleaning up broken glass and spills caused by your guests…newsflash… IS YOUR JOB. You are there to serve your guests in any which way possible not just what it says in your “job description”. I hope you get aids next time you fuck your boyfriend.
Wow, Bob. That, coming from someone I don’t know at all and have absolutely no relationship with, really hurts. Clearly, you have some issues with gay men which works out fine because more than likely they have an even bigger issue with you. First, I don’t hate kids because I am gay. That argument has no logic. Secondly, anal activities with prep cooks sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe you should look into that. I know, I know, you’re not gay, but me thinks thou dost protest too much. Thirdly, contrary to your beliefs, I am not at work to serve “guests in any which way.” You are confusing me with the people you meet on Craigslist. Finally, you saying you hope I get AIDS the next time I fuck my boyfriend makes no sense either. One doesn’t simply get AIDS. One contracts the HIV virus. And I don’t have a boyfriend; I have a husband who I have been with for 21 years. Fuck off.
Here is what Kay had to say:
If only your mom had practiced abstinence then we wouldn’t have to look at your ridiculous hair or hear about how you don’t like children and have completely forgotten that you were once an ugly little kid that people had to deal with. I’m sure you remember being perfect, but we all know that’s not true. Congrats on being an internet troll. I hope one day you get to walk a mile in the shoes of parents. I also hope that one day you’ll find an actual talent other than being someone’s server and a professional complainer.
Oh Kay. Dear, sweet addle-brained Kay. Don’t even try to pretend that you don’t like my hair. You know you do. Also, I am not an Internet troll. Internet trolls are people who go to blogs and leave comments either anonymously or under a name that can be traced back to them. Sorta like you, Kay, you Internet troll. I am sorry to disappoint you, but I will never walk a mile in the shoes of a parent because, unlike my mother, I have decided I don’t want to be a parent. Besides, I don’t like the shoes that parents wear and they’re probably way too big for me. As for another talent, I have many. Here’s one of them.
20% tip is high….these uneducated people with no skills are making to much money…20% of 40$ bill is like 9$. be a stripper i pay them more….because you bring me food and fill my glass that dont deserve 20% the cooks deserve more they work harder
Okay, Brian. Got it. Thanks. Carry on with your keen way of life by visiting more strip clubs and miscalculating what 20% is. In the meantime, learn some grammar.
Thank you for all the comments. I read every single one. Not only because I care about what people have to say, but because I have no life and I crave the attention. Good tips to you all.