Waiter Has Finger Broken By Asshole Customer

Whenever there is some story in the news that involves a server, people send me the link to make sure I have heard about it. Such is the case with the waiter who had his finger broken by an angry customer. John Castle, 76 and the chairman and CEO of Castle Harlan, a private equity firm was eating at some fancy ass place in Palm Beach called Club Colette. You can click here to see some of the folks who were at the club’s New Year’s Eve party. Most of the pictures are of rich old white men with younger wives who are all pinched, nipped and tucked. I particularly hope that picture #11 is a father and daughter because anything else is just too creepy. Anyhoo, Castle got all pissed off when his waiter brought him the check. Castle allegedly grabbed the hand of the waiter Paul Kucik, and yelled, “You schmuck, why did you bring the bill to the table?” He then proceeded to bend the waiter’s hand and when the server went to a doctor the next day he learned that his fucking finger was broken off. What the hell is that shit? Kucik said that the asshole’s wife had asked for the check to be brought to her husband and he was only doing what he was asked to do. And what kind of question is “Why did you bring the bill to the table?” anyway? The answer to that question is, “Because you have to pay for your fucking food, asswipe.” According to reports, this John Ass’le (see how that rhymes with Castle?) isn’t the friendliest of people. Just looking at the guy you can tell he’s not a people person. He looks like Mr. Burns from The Simpson’s came to life and went out to eat:

One is John Castle and one is Mr. Burns. Eerie, ain’t it?

No charges have been pressed against John Ass’le yet because the waiter has not gone to the police. He’s probably waiting to get some huge settlement instead because, um, duh. He had his finger broken by a rich person. This is America and his ship just came in. Say goodbye to your apron, Paul Kucik, you just won the lottery.

Of course I wasn’t there when this incident allegedly went down so I can only imagine what the waiter said as his finger was broken:

Here you are sir, just as your lovely and not at all overly made-up wife asked, I have your check for you. It was my pleasure serving you this evening- arrgh! That’s my finger sir! You are hurting my finger! It is not meant to bend that way, sir. Oh my God! Someone help me, this asshole is breaking off my fucking finger! And it’s the finger I use to type orders into the computer-my livelihood! I am about to scream! Arrrggh! Oh my God! My finger is now hanging off my hand! It is definitely broken. John Castle, the incredibly rich CEO of an investment firm just assaulted me and broke my finger, oh my God! Call 911! CALL 911! (pause) Wait, don’t call 911, I’m alright, I’m alright. Never mind Does anyone have the name of a good lawyer? And someone do my fucking sidework, I’m outta here, bitches.

Good luck, Paul Kucik. Take this asshole down for all of us who are shit on by people who think they are better than us.

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14 thoughts on “Waiter Has Finger Broken By Asshole Customer

  1. Mary A.

    He BENT the server's finger back???? WTF? Who does that? You know who does that Cops. When they are subduing drunks. Not patrons at a swanky restaurant. Hope his trophy wife takes him for everything he's got.

  2. Anonymous

    Private Equity Boss John Castle Could Skate on Allegation he Assaulted Waiter Palm Beach Police officials say the battery allegation against equity firm Castle Harlan CEO John Castle will not be investigated — unless the waiter who says Castle broke his finger starts cooperating with the investigation.Castle, 76, is accused of grabbing the hand of Club Colette waiter Paul Kucik Saturday night and twisting it until Kucik’s finger broke. According to the police report, Castle wasn’t happy about Kucik bringing him his check at his table.For good measure, Castle allegedly called Kucik a “schmuck.”Because Club Colette is a private club, members like Castle are often billed monthly for their dining.The incident hasn’t shocked many who know Castle, a personal friend and frequent Palm Beach host of U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch. Leverage buyout king Castle is known on The Island as an abrasive character who often snaps at the help, which in his case includes half a dozen servants, chauffeurs and yacht captain.Nice guy, huh?

  3. www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

    By this time I'm certain that a swarm of lawyers have flocked to Kucik trying to get a piece of his certain settlement. Hopefully, Kucik filed a timely police report. He was physically assaulted while on the job, right?BW, I hope you do a follow-up on this post.

  4. thefeebleartichoke

    I looked at the Club Collette's New Year's eve photos. All those Palm Beach men look hopeless– what money CAN'T buy! As for their wives and girlfriends– they all need to put drag queens on their payrolls as beauty/fashion consultants! Might be flashy, but, hey, it still would be an improvement for that party.If you learn of a follow-up story, let us know too!

  5. Anonymous

    Sounds to me like Paul's being pressured by the country club not to press charges. I hope he's gone silent because he was quietly given a grotesquely large and secret bribe.

  6. Barsola

    Am I the only one surprised that the men in those pictures could actually stay up until midnight? Looks like their bed times would be shortly after their 4:30 dinner.


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