The Bitchy Waiter Turns 3 Today!

It seems like only yesterday that I rolled my lazy ass out of bed and hobbled over to the computer to figure out a thing called Blogger. “Hmmm, wouldn’t it be fun if I wrote a blog about waiting tables and sent it to my friends?” It was three years ago on December 8th, 2008 when I posted my first (incredibly short) post. Of course it was about children. Three years and 682 posts later, I am still writing and every once in a while I shart out something that I think is pretty good. Most of the time, it’s regurgitated crap that we’ve all seen before and I just put my own spin on it (In other words, hastily written with bad grammar and occasionally decent punctuation.) Happy third anniversary to me! There are others who celebrate today as their birthday, but they are all dead; most notably Flip Wilson, Sammy Davis Jr. and Sinead O’Connor (she may actually be alive and it’s just her career that is dead…not sure.)

This has been a good year for Bitchy Waiter. We saw some national exposure thanks to Dr. Phil and CBS Sunday Morning and I even turned up in the New York Post. Yesterday, I sent off my book proposal so that some literary agent somewhere will have something fresh and clean to line their cat’s litter box with. You’re welcome, literary agent.

The traditional gift for a third anniversary is something made of leather while the modern day equivalent is something of crystal or glass. While a new pair of leather assless chaps would be lovely and I would never turn down a gift of glass or crystal as long as it was filled with vodka or tequila, I don’t want that shit. I want world peace, an end to global warming and 30% tips. And If I can’t have that, then I want you to watch this video and then “like” it and share it so I can see amazing numbers on my blog today. (Thank you to Jasmine, the superstar employee of December, who came up with the idea to do a parody of this song and then I totally stole the idea and ran with it).


If it is too much to ask of you to click the stupid little ↑↑↑ “like” ↑↑↑ button, then all I want is for you to keep coming back here every now and again. I will try my best to make you smile or laugh or get pissed off or cry or something. This blog is here for two reasons: to give me something to do instead of housework and chores and to entertain the people who read it. Thank you for being here. If it wasn’t for you, this blog would not still be rolling along three years after it started.

Have a good day.

The Bitchy Waiter

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24 thoughts on “The Bitchy Waiter Turns 3 Today!

  1. Estrellita

    Happy third birthday/anniversary! I have been following your blog for two of the three years and have enjoyed every post. Your page is my first stop when I log in to Facebook. Thanks for the many, many laughs. I will never look at Elton John the same way after the frilly frock/pink poodle line in the gay dog post. That is my absolute favorite. Good luck with the manuscript. You are a talented writer, one of your many talents. Thanks for brightening my days!

  2. Kalei's Best Friend

    Congrats! I came across your page from seeing your comment on another…You have brought me out of my worst moods.. I totally empathize w/the crap you go thru… Love the video- you're talented as well. Then again, I think u knew that.

  3. Corina

    HAPPY THIRD BITCHY!! I have been reading you for 2/3rds of the time! Thanks for the laughs, and humor, and intelligent ending to my day. I like this video, but my favorite one is the Bewitched one! Here's to four score more years!

  4. Practical Parsimony

    LOL "children tied up with strings" You are hilarious and have a great voice! I was thinking maybe I could share you somehow on my facebook, but I don't know how. If you tell me I will introduce you to my friends in Birmingham.

  5. Adam

    Congratulations!! As always I'm really proud of you and this third year was a really great one for you and your hair. I really expect that your fourth year will be even better and I'm looking forward to what you bring everyoned! Congratulations again, and keep up the awesomeness!


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