Of all the posts I have written over the last three years, not one of them has gotten more comments than the post called An Order of Milk With a Side of Boob. At last count, there were 133 comments mostly from breastfeeding mothers who were not pleased with what I wrote. Actually, most of them were not pleased with what other’s commented on and they quickly forgot what I had said about it in the first place. The post got picked up by some motherhood website and it went like wildfire. Here are a few of my favorites:
- Why are you implying (however subconsciously) that breasts are only sexual?
- I’m all for breastfeeding. But, like with everything else, there’s an appropriate time and place for exposing a breasticle. “Shirt and Shoes Required” kinda implies “don’t whip out your tit”, does it not?
- Seriously, these women can bring a bottle for the kid if they’re out in public. I don’t want to be exposed to someone’s bodily fluids. Breast milk doesn’t always make it into the baby’s mouth. Have some class, ladies!
- Breasts PRIMARY FUNCTION are to provide nutrition to children. Don’t twist biological fact to suit your prudish ideas. Just because you’re a pearl-clutcher doesn’t mean that a baby can’t be fed while in public.
- Excuse me, does there have to be something sexual about breasts for women to just whip them out in front of unsuspecting people? Can I have my boyfriend suck my tits in a restaurant as long as we weren’t fucking at the table? Oh, and as for what people said about it being natural, yeah, so is taking a dump. I don’t do that at the table either.
- So you had a baby and because of that I should go out and spend several thousand dollars on remodeling the so that you can feed your baby in my restaurant? What is wrong with you people? Yes, the baby has a right to eat and yes the mother has a right to breastfeed, but I also have the right not to witness you whipping out the mammary glands to feed Jr.
- There is nothing wrong with that lady feeding her baby. And more power to her if she is a confident enough woman to do it without a cover.
- Finally, did any other patrons go to the washroom to eat? Would YOU have gone to the washroom to eat? I highly doubt it. If breast feeding offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head.
Okay, okay, enough already! Let me be clear about what I wrote. Never once did I say what she was doing was wrong. I simply expressed my surprise at walking up to her table to see that she was in the middle of something that I would consider a very private moment. I did not place her at the front of the restaurant on my own. The milk-lady was told she could sit where ever she wanted to sit and she chose the table nearest the door. Her call, not mine. I was very respectful of the mother and gave her the privacy she needed while she fed her kid from her teet. I was not rude to her and I understood that this is what needed to happen. Am I allowed to feel uncomfortable? Yes, I am. It’s my feeling and if I want to have it, I can. Breasts in general are foreign to me so whether they are in a bikini, a tube top, Spanx or if it has a baby hanging off of it, my first thought is going to be, “Eew, gross. Titty.”
I appreciate the comments. Most of them were very thoughtful and lengthy and I almost feel bad that some people spent more time commenting about the post than I spent writing it. I wrote it in about twenty minutes before I went to work one morning. It came about like this: “Hmmm, what can I write about today? Oh, how about that lady who breastfed last night. Yeah, that’ll do, whatever.” The next thing I knew, it was firestorm of controversy.
So in the future, if you are in my section and feel like breastfeeding, please feel free. I will politely avert my eyes and wait until you are done before I take your order. I will keep my discomfort to myself. I do not put a blanket on my head when I eat so I don’t think your baby should either. And since I don’t eat in a bathroom neither should your baby. And for the record, I never said that’s what should happen. Can we please put this behind us? As a token of peace, friendship and my support of breastfeeding wherever the hell you feel like it, I offer this photo: