Recently at the restaurant I had a lovely young mother come in with her adorable son. It was just the two of them on a “date night” and they were both very sweet. She specifically asked to sit out of the way of everyone which I assumed was because she had a rather large stroller as new moms are apt to have. I gave her a two-top at the front of the restaurant and handed her a menu. “I’ll give you a chance to settle in and be back in a minute to get you whatever you’d like,” I said. At this point the baby was just waking up in his stroller and she said, “Better give me a few minutes. Somebody just woke up and he’s gonna be hungry.” “No problem,” I told her.
About five minutes later she called me over. She was now holding the baby in her arms and ready to place the order. The little boy was less than a year old. He had sleepy little eyes and full head of bushy brown hair and cute little hands that were grasping at whatever they could find. “I’ll have the mac and cheese and then the salmon,” Mom ordered. “And water is fine.” She didn’t seem to notice that the the little boy’s hands were creeping into her blouse but it was obvious to me. This kid was feeling up his own motherright in front of me. That baby totally got to second base while I was taking an order. I smiled and went on my way.
When the mac and cheese was ready, I placed it on a tray and headed over to table 5. I was not prepared for what I saw. The baby was having his dinner and it was courtesy of a big right titty that was hanging out of young mother’s shirt. There was a feeding frenzy going on over there. It was a milk buffet. Cafe con leche con boobie. It was like a National Geographic special happening. I don’t have a lot of experience with the bosoms other than some close encounters of the drunk kind after too many California Coolers in the 80’s. (Hi, Laurie, say hi to your husband for me. How are the kids?) Even though my knowledge of the breasticles is limited, I am pretty sure that letting one hang out in the middle of a restaurant so you can feed your kid as I am innocently trying to place a bowl of macaroni and cheese is inappropriate. We don’t have a nursing station just like we don’t have a changing table. Where else was she supposed to do it? I don’t know, but I really didn’t feel it was right.
“Here is your mac and cheese. Is there anything else you might need right now?” I asked. “Like a sheet, partition or a separate room?” I thought. “Or maybe a box of blindfolds for all of us who are not accustomed to seeing breasts while at our jobs?” I averted my eyes and backed away from the table. “There’s nothing to see over here, folks, nothing at all. Do not look at table five, I repeat, DO NOT look at table five,” I heard the voice in my head screaming.
By the time the salmon was ready, the little boy was just as full as mom was from her appetizer. The rest of the service continued sans boobs. She left me a great tip and was completely friendly. I know that breast-feeding is totally natural and I am in no way against it. I can appreciate it as long as I have consumed a four pack of California Coolers and Laurie is just as trashed as I am and laying on my bed circa 1985. But I question the appropriateness of the action in a restaurant without one of those shield thingies. I may be old-school, but if she didn’t bring enough for everybody, then maybe she shouldn’t have brought it at all.
Here is my question to you: was it right or wrong for her to nurse at a table in a restaurant? Yes, she was at a table away from everyone else but there was a table directly next to her that could have been sat. No, we do not have a place for nursing moms to have some privacy. Yes, boobies make me nervous whether they have a baby hanging off of it or not. No, I was not about to ask her to stop because I am not stupid. But I want to know what you think about the situation. Please share your thoughts. And before you jump all over me, please remember I am not against it. I was just surprised, that’s all. And great. Now I totally want cereal.
You can read the follow up to this post here.