Not since the Jet Blue guy quit his bitch of a job via the emergency exit slide of an airplane, have we had such a hero to worship at the feet of. But now that has changed. A guy named Adam left his resignation letter to Taco Bell in a very creative way. He didn’t write it on a bev nap as I did to excuse myself from Houlihan’s. He didn’t email it. He didn’t Fed Ex it. In fact, he really didn’t even write a letter. He put it on the sign in front of the restaurant (like Taco Bell is a restaurant…) so instead of customers seeing “Gorditas for $1.99” they saw a big ol’ “I Quit, Fuck You.” He followed that with a smiley face so it wasn’t completely rude. It was said that he had worked 22 days in a row and was denied having off for the Fourth of July. Right there with you Adam. How dare Taco Bell keep you from celebrating the birth of your country. It must be because they are a Mexican “restaurant.” If you’d have asked off for Cinco de Mayo or Mexican Independence Day, it would have been no big deal. They would have done it and given you a free side of guacamole too. But the Fourth of July? No way, Jose. Lo siento in a big way, but get your ass back in the kitchen and make me a chalupa.
None of us were there, so we can only imagine what went down when he asked for the day off.
Adam: Hey, manager, can I like have the fourth of July off?
Adam: Dude, c’mon. I’ve been working for like 22 days in a row. That’s like two and half weeks, what the fuck?
Manager: Do not use that language in our establishment. I will give you a demerit and put it in your permanent record.
Adam: Okay, so what if I like volunteer to work on Labor Day? Then can I be off on the fourth? My friends are having this totally awesome pool party and I told them that I would bring the tacos.
Manager: No. Go clean the bathrooms, Adam.
Adam: No way, man. It’s totally not my turn to clean the bathrooms. Let that new chick with the mustache do it. I’d rather clean out the grease trap or mop the walk-in.
Manager: Do I sense insubordination?
Adam: Dude, like I even know what that is. So seriously can I have off on the fourth of July?
Managaer: No, now go count the tortillas. And because I am sensing some attitude from you, I am going to take away your break today and your Enchirito will no longer be half price.
Adam: That blows! I have to pay full price for my Enchirito? No fuckin’ way, dude. This sucks. I knew I should have worked at Wendy’s.
Manager: Do not make me write you up, Adam.
Adam: Yes, sir. I’m sorry. I am going to go clean the bathrooms now, right after I go change the sign for today’s special.
Manager: Thank you, Adam. I am happy to see you take the initiative since I know that you are not on signage duty today. I commend your maturity. Keep it up and within six or nine months you could be head cashier and in charge of Mexican Pizzas. Good job, Adam. Now go change that sign with pride. Go Taco Bell!
Adam: Yeah, uh huh.
So that is toatlly how it probably went down. Adam went right out to the sign and took a virtual dump on his job. I hope he had a good time on the fourth of July. And Adam, if you read this, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org because I want to tell you how cool you are and interview you as well.