NFL Player Allegedly Fondles a Waitress

Sometimes it’s fun to Google the word “restaurant” and see if anything good comes up that I can write about. Today when I did it, I came across a lot of articles about some football player who has been accused of sexual abuse because he allegedly slid his credit card into the bra of his waitress and while doing so, he allegedly touched her breast. Allegedly. Of course he entered a not guilty plea because no one would ever do that, right?

Albert Haynesworth is the defensive lineman for the Washington Redskins, which is allegedly a football team. I don’t know exactly what a defensive lineman does, but I think he is the real big player who tries to keep the other team from scoring by tackling people. Everything I know about football came from my senior year in high school when I was the school mascot and eventually voted Most Spirited. So, yeah, that’s what a defensive line man must do. Oh, and sometimes he grabs the tits of waitresses.

Now I wasn’t at the W Hotel in February when this allegedly happened, but it seems very plausible. Seeing that I am not a lady, I have never been fondled by my customers. Despite my tight pants, keeping my shirt unbuttoned and putting my ass right in their face, no one ever takes me up on the offer. But I know it happens to waitresses all the time. After a few drinks, the guy gets a little grabby and flirty and maybe lets his hand linger a little longer than it should when he hands her his credit card. Allegedly, Albert “I’m Not Wearing Any” Haynes-underwear-worth slipped his credit card into her shirt and copped a feel. He probably did it like he was trying to help her:

Oh, baby, I see that your hands are full with those plates so I’m just gonna put this credit card in your pocket for you. That way, I can do you a favor, because I’m cool like that. Hey did you know I play for the NFL? Yeah, baby, I’m a superstar. So, here’s my credit card. Whoa baby, your pants are so tight I don’t know if I can get my big platinum credit card to fit in your tiny tight little pocket. I’ll just slide it right here in your bra for you so it’s close to your heart. You know I play for the NFL, right?

We can all see this happening, right? So she took his ass to court and he’s pleading not guilty and in a couple of weeks it will probably all get settled out of court. The waitress will walk away with a few grand and he will leave with a clean record. Again, I was not there so I can’t speak about the truth. All I am is a blogger who can make up shit from here to kingdom come and then click submit and let it out into the cyber world. I do know that this kind of thing happens to waitresses all the feakin‘ time and maybe this waitress was fed up. Or maybe she saw an opportunity to grab a piece of the money pie and he did absolutely nothing wrong. He already rejected a deal so he is absolutely standing behind his story that he is innocent. We’ll see what happens with this one. But follow it up your own damn self, because honestly I don’t give a shit about football players.

What about you, female servers? Have you been inappropriately touched while at work? What do you do if it happens? Let it go? Ignore it? Dump a pot of hot coffee in his crotch? Share your story.

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16 thoughts on “NFL Player Allegedly Fondles a Waitress

  1. dirtydisher

    I've been grabbed, groped, fondled, pinched, squeezed, name it. You can spot the type after one drink. And one insult veiled as flirting. It makes you want to kill someone. But, you can't because you're obviously a low life whore or you wouldn't be bartending or serving, right?

  2. Anonymous

    I've been a waitress for 6 years, off and on. I've also been a dancer. And I can honestly say, my restaurant customers are by far the most disrespectful! One time a guy just smacks my a** for no reason, he wasn't even at one of my tables! I was having a really bad day already, so my manager kicked him out. But I wouldn't say it happens all the time.. I've only had 3 people kicked out, and one arrested, in 6 years.. lol

  3. Mark W

    How about all those awkward times that a small child reaches up and touches your crotch while you're taking and order or delivering drinks? That's the worst!

  4. TwisterB

    I worked in a 24 hour diner that was in a strip of about 4-5 busy bars on any given night. I've also been grabbed, groped, fondled, pinched, squeezed, humped….ect.Except for happy cuddly drunks, drunkenness brings out the worst in most people. Not to say every customer who has tried to cop a feel has been drunk, but the drunker they are the more likely it is to happen.

  5. Ashleigh

    oh where to begin? first let me say I do NOT offend easily. the very worst ( and there have been some bad ones) was when I was cocktailing at the National bowling Stadium in Nv.for the P.B.A tourney's. (yes they were Bowlers but these were supposedly professional "athletes") anywho, we cocktail servers wore bowling shirts with short black shorts. the whole bunch of "pro's" were difficult,perverse, and just awful. I wove my way through the crowd with my tray of drinks and arrived at my destination. I started to hand the drinks out and this group said " just set the tray down on the table" ( the tables were sunk very low ) it had been a long day , I wasn't thinking and I set the tray down, bending as I did…and some old fart reached under and 6 packed me..thumb to the ass finger to get it.I mentioned it my manager, who laughed. I punched out and never went back.

  6. Me

    one time this guy told me he wanted to play tonsil hockey with me in the parking lot. those were his exact words. sick.

  7. Noelle

    I think I would have adjusted the tip line and moved on. Making sure he knew not to dispute it. PIG. that bowling story is disgusting. Good for you for leaving with such support from management.

  8. Anonymous

    I've been grabbed, pressed up against, kissed on the cheek, and caressed everywhere (arms, the small of my back, my "hips"). I generally do my best to ignore it while moving out of reach. I've also gotten some severely raunchy jokes- but provided there's no creepy innuendo or touchy involved, I generally find it funny.I did have an old man (75-80) with a lot of money who thought he owned the place press up against me from behind and kiss my cheek and say "well aren't you a pretty little thing". I cringed and wiggled away. When I checked on a booth a couple tables away from them I asked "You two doing okay?". Their response was "The question is are YOU okay?"I've also been proposed to and asked out by men over the age of 50 over a dozen times in the past 3 years. Provided they do it in a joking indulge-an-old-man-his-humor way, I don't mind, but it happens a lot.

  9. Anonymous

    I've been working in an Irish pub on a popular strip of bars for the past 3 months. We wear kilts and tanktops as our uniform. In this time span, I have been groped, kissed, proposed to, asked to get naked, photographed, and on Cinco de Mayo, I was propositioned for sex ("You tryna fuck tonight?" and he slid me money-classy, I know). Nothing really surprises me anymore. I understand the risk I take by working in a place with suggestive uniforms, but come on.

  10. denesteak

    The worst thing that's happen too me, when it comes to inappropriate touching, is when some creeper reached up to hold stroke my cheek. I immediately backed away and told him not to touch me. I've had inappropriate comments, but no breast groping or ass smacks.

  11. Title Loans

    I was a waitress in college and occasionally had some things happen. I think it comes with the territory of such a customer service industry. Did I like it ever? No. But I never thought to take anyone to court over it. I don't find it right to do; but I think those of us in the industry shouldn't get sue happy- because disrespect is bound to happen anywhere.Ava

  12. Jen-nay

    I have no idea how you ladies do it. I've been serving/bartending for 5ish years and I was only ass-grabbed ONCE. I smacked his hand away, let him have it in front of all of his friends and made him pay his tab. When he only left me EIGHT DOLLARS on his hundred something bill (after saying all night that he was a "great" tipper, of course) I told him that he didn't pay me enough to deal with his shit (exact words) and to get the fuck out and that he wasn't welcome back. (Also exact words). Yay for not working corporate. I do not deal with people messing with my personal space. ESPECIALLY touching. I don't care where I work I would not put up with that shit. Ever.

  13. Anonymous

    I’ve actually been groped much more by coworkers (usually kitchen guys) than by customers… This one restaurant where I worked was so bad that none of the hostesses would set foot in the kitchen (they all looked like baby Victoria’s Secret models). I’m a bit overweight so I would brave the kitchen to get the hostesses snacks during shifts so they wouldn’t have to get groped. And in return they would give me really good tables and I was never double-sat.


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