Just Say No To Happy Meals?

Have you heard about this proposed ban in New York City that would no longer allow toys to be served with Happy Meals because the toys are making kids fat? Councilman Leroy Comrie will push the Fast Food Toy Ban Bill which will limit any meal that comes with a toy to under 500 calories. Of course the councilman used himself as an example saying that he used to eat Happy Meals and other junk food growing up which would explain why he tips the scales at humongous these days. But I did a little digging and there is no way this ass was eating Happy Meals unless he hopped into a time machine. I learned that he graduated from Jamaica high school in 1976 making him about 51 years old today. The Happy Meal was introduced in June of 1979 when he was about 20 years old. So is he saying that the reason he is fat now is because of all those Happy Meals he ate during his final semesters of college?

First off, if a fucking toy comes with an unhealthy fast food meal and the kid wants it really bad, isn’t it the parents job to decide whether or not they can eat it? Now, I don’t have kids of my own, but I was pretty sure that parents have control of what their kids eat. Unless the six year old has a part-time job at The Gap and has some spending money of their own, they ain’t gonna be driving their asses up to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal. Never mind that six-year olds can’t drive. And do kids really want a Happy Meal because of the toy? Does this guy think that by not putting a toy in the meal, that kids will simply disown McDonald’s? No, they eat that shit because it’s good. And the parents feed them that shit because it’s cheap. And fast. The toy is icing on the cake. Or the grease on the bun.

To me, it seems like this guy just wanted to get some face time in the news media so he decided to steal this idea from San Francisco. I’ve got nothing against media whores because that would be the pot calling the kettle black, but come on. If he really thinks that keeping the toys out of fucking Happy Meals is going to make a difference, he needs to pull the Cinnabon out of his ass and wipe the frosting from his eyes. If a kids wants a Happy Meal and it comes with some plastic piece of crap toy from Shrek or whatever the fuck movie needs promoting, let the kid have it. But hey, about this: after they eat it, maybe take the kid to the park and let him play for a while. Or maybe take the stairs instead of the elevator. Or make him take the dog for a walk. But if the kid is going to eat Happy Meals four or five times a week and then sit on the couch and play X-box, Wii or Atari (old school), he might grow up to be a fat tub of Thousand Island Dressing. True, that fat tub of Thousand Island Dressing can run for city council but he’ll still be a fat tub of Thousand Island Dressing.

I say leave the freaking toys alone and let’s just ask parents to make better choices. But, what do I know? I’m just a bitchy waiter who doesn’t have kids or eat Happy Meals.

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24 thoughts on “Just Say No To Happy Meals?

  1. Bunny

    I am so with you on this one! It's just ridiculous and how is it someone's else business to decide what I think is okay with my kids. My kids get one happy meal a weekand I usually make them get the apples and juice or milk with it, but that's me. Other parents can do what they think is right. The toy sure isn't what decides what my kids eats. I am!

  2. Tony Van Helsing

    The councilman hasn't got the bollocks to address the problem head on which is eating loads of processed food without exercising enough to burn the extra calories makes your arse fat.

  3. Chunky Mama

    I have a three year old boy. Yes, he freaking loves the toys in happy meals. Yes, he'd suck down those nuggets whether or not a toy came with them. But truthfully?? If you are a parent you KNOW that your kid eats LESS of that crap when there's a toy involved because he has no interest whatsoever in eating when he could be playing.

  4. Mark W

    If I owned the local McDonald's and this became law, I'd simply take the toy out, and charge one cent less for the Happy Meal. I'd also sell the toy separately for one cent.Parent: "I'd like one hamburger Happy Meal, please."Shaniqua: "One Happy Meal. Would you like to buy a toy today for one cent more?"Parent: "Why, yes, thank you!"

  5. Stephanie

    OMG!!! That is just ridiculous. I am not a huge fan of McDonalds, but we do go everyone once in a while…as a treat. Parents need to take responsibility for their kid's weight and health and make the right choices. Removing the toy isn't going to change anything.

  6. Anonymous

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  7. Practical Parsimony

    Fantastic Writing! Yes, the brats do want the toy. No, the parents are not in charge because they abdicated their rights to kids and commercials. Helicopter parents don't worry about food. They are too busy worrying and commenting on every other aspect of the kids' lives. Parents today are selfish. They need to sacrifice a text message or American Idol or a good time to assure their child is eating correctly and excercising. Rip those remotes from their hands and kick them outdoors or TAKE them to the park. But, you said it soooo much better.

  8. Bagel Fairy

    1000 Island dressing must be the fat customer's dressing, because you bring it up every time you bring up the fatties.Guess I won't be ordering 1000 Island anymore from my bitchy waiters!

  9. The Empress

    Well said BW. The coucil jackwad's rationale is completely messed up. Toys do not make kids unhealthy or overweight. Shitty and high caloric food combined with a lack of exercise make kids unhealthy. He should instead be focusing on childhood obesity and providing feasible solutions to the problem.

  10. Scout26

    Preach it Brother. The best advice my father gave me before I became a parent was "If you're going to say 'No', be prepared to say it until the bitter end. And it will get bitter." Sadly, my wife never absorbed that sage advice. 'No' from her meant that it was her opening bargaining position to the kids.

  11. SkippyMom

    Who knew plastic contained calories. Wow, what a surprise.I LOVE that you pointed out his lie regarding eating happy meals growing up.So, basically, he was still growing up at 20 years old? Okay, I hope he is prepared to change the voting age because somebody with the mentality of a child, at 20 years old, should surely NOT be able to vote, yes?I am also assuming PP does not have children – and knows nobody that does.

  12. Noelle

    I have two young boys we occasionally eat at the golden arches. One of my kids doesn't eat fries but wants two double cheese burgers plain. (always a challenge)I end up ordering off the dollar menu and purchasing the toy separate if it's a promo they are interested in so I spend more money to please there picky palates. My boys are constantly moving and talking when they're not eating sometimes playing with the toy. McDonald's would better serve customers to offer spa service for parents while kids are eating a playing. Make that a law. I agree taking the toy out of the meal ridiculous what's next, the cut out car from Steak and Shake? The ice cream from Culvers child's meal. The game place mats and crayons from many others? Move all crap out of the supper store checkout isle. It's making parents poor which causes them to buy cheap fattening food. Take the sword from my martini I'm often tempted to stab someone with it. I think I'll go run with scissors before it becomes against the law.

  13. Mixed Martial Arts Los Angeles

    We've already had to say good-bye to Ronald, why do we have to say good-bye to the Happy Meal? It doesn't make me happy. At all. It's your own fault if you eat it consistently. I mean, I did as a kid, and I turned out fine. It's just getting a little ridiculous that blame game…

  14. Anonymous

    I say just say no to parents bringing these meals into restaurants for their kids when they eat out! It happens all the time! As if the restaurant doesn't have a kids menu..

  15. Anne

    You can buy the Happy without the Meal. I live in Texas and used to take my son to McDonald's to play in the air conditioned, indoor jungle gym playroom when it was too hot to go to the park. We would buy the toy and a couple of bottled waters and camp for a couple of hours. Shockingly, he did not die of deprivation, although his favorite vegetable at age 4 was broccoli . . .


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