Have you heard about this proposed ban in New York City that would no longer allow toys to be served with Happy Meals because the toys are making kids fat? Councilman Leroy Comrie will push the Fast Food Toy Ban Bill which will limit any meal that comes with a toy to under 500 calories. Of course the councilman used himself as an example saying that he used to eat Happy Meals and other junk food growing up which would explain why he tips the scales at humongous these days. But I did a little digging and there is no way this ass was eating Happy Meals unless he hopped into a time machine. I learned that he graduated from Jamaica high school in 1976 making him about 51 years old today. The Happy Meal was introduced in June of 1979 when he was about 20 years old. So is he saying that the reason he is fat now is because of all those Happy Meals he ate during his final semesters of college?
First off, if a fucking toy comes with an unhealthy fast food meal and the kid wants it really bad, isn’t it the parents job to decide whether or not they can eat it? Now, I don’t have kids of my own, but I was pretty sure that parents have control of what their kids eat. Unless the six year old has a part-time job at The Gap and has some spending money of their own, they ain’t gonna be driving their asses up to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal. Never mind that six-year olds can’t drive. And do kids really want a Happy Meal because of the toy? Does this guy think that by not putting a toy in the meal, that kids will simply disown McDonald’s? No, they eat that shit because it’s good. And the parents feed them that shit because it’s cheap. And fast. The toy is icing on the cake. Or the grease on the bun.
To me, it seems like this guy just wanted to get some face time in the news media so he decided to steal this idea from San Francisco. I’ve got nothing against media whores because that would be the pot calling the kettle black, but come on. If he really thinks that keeping the toys out of fucking Happy Meals is going to make a difference, he needs to pull the Cinnabon out of his ass and wipe the frosting from his eyes. If a kids wants a Happy Meal and it comes with some plastic piece of crap toy from Shrek or whatever the fuck movie needs promoting, let the kid have it. But hey, about this: after they eat it, maybe take the kid to the park and let him play for a while. Or maybe take the stairs instead of the elevator. Or make him take the dog for a walk. But if the kid is going to eat Happy Meals four or five times a week and then sit on the couch and play X-box, Wii or Atari (old school), he might grow up to be a fat tub of Thousand Island Dressing. True, that fat tub of Thousand Island Dressing can run for city council but he’ll still be a fat tub of Thousand Island Dressing.
I say leave the freaking toys alone and let’s just ask parents to make better choices. But, what do I know? I’m just a bitchy waiter who doesn’t have kids or eat Happy Meals.