Do NOT Leave Crap in My Station

This is a re-post with some added thoughts. I’m tired today so it’s totally half-assed. Sorry.

I am moved to write because today some lady threw her baby into a mega-stroller and rolled it into my station. The baby looked like it was a few weeks old and I don’t know why the fuck anyone would drag their weeks old baby to eat at my place, but she did. Actually I should say her nanny did. Mother just talked on the phone and took cell phone pictures of it. Maybe she was Grandmother. Bitch looked old. First thing: “Can you turn down the music? The baby is asleep.” Whatever. Point of story is when they left. I went to clear the table and there was a tiny diaper rolled into a ball that was sitting with the dirty dishes and used napkins. Like I won’t notice a fucking dirty diaper. So I have decided to make a list of things to not leave at your table:

  • dirty fucking goddamn diapers
  • snot rags
  • babies or children of any age unless they are cool with becoming my cleaning lady.
  • trash from other restaurants like a Starbucks cup
  • hair pieces, wigs, falls, barrettes or pony-tail holders
  • magazines that I don’t want to read like Time or Ladies Home Journal. US Weekly or People is fine.
  • crappy cell phones. The new iPhone is fine. Just don’t come back looking for it.
  • body odor
  • junk mail or any other crap that came out of your bag that you cleaned out while waiting for your food
  • your phone number (this applies to ugly people only)
  • apple cores, banana peels or the shells of sunflower seeds
  • used gum that you leave on the side of the plate so I have to scrape it off
  • gum of any kind
  • pennies
  • newspapers
  • false teeth, dentures, partials or a gold tooth that you will come back for the next day and then be all surprised that i don’t know where the hell it is.
  • your “to-go” food that I didn’t want to wrap up but I did anyway even though it was like one fucking french fry

What else can we add to this list? I wanna see a lot of comments, ladies and gents.

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Discussion

  1. Brandy
  2. Jennifer G.
    • Brandy
  3. J9
    • A person
    • Jennifer G.

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