I got up early today to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade because it is a fine tradition that must be upheld. Plus, I feel close to the event since I walked in the parade a few years ago when I was playing one of my finest roles ever, trash can:
Around the country, the smell of turkey and dressing is wafting through the air and mouths are watering for the first bite of pumpkin pie. Families are gathering around the table in anticipation of giving thanks and stuffing themselves with food until they can no longer move. Here in my house, the only food aroma that is happening is that of the Crunchy Peanut Butter Cliff bar that I bought for myself to serve as a snack when I go to work. I was scheduled to work at the new job seeing that they had about 525,600 reservations, but things changed. I will now be serving in the home of some rich folks on the Upper West Side. I say rich because if they can afford to live on the Upper West Side and they can spend money to have someone like me come in and be their maid for five hours, then they must have money to burn. I don’t mind. The expected tip for something like that is about a hundred bucks and the entire thing will go into my pocket. There will be no busser, food runner, host, barista, bartender or barback to split it with leaving me only $35. It will be all mine. When you factor in the hourly wage, it makes for a keen day of earning indeed. Basically I will be warming up their food, putting it on serving plates and then cleaning up afterwards. It’s very glamorous. Actually, I don’t mind at all. When the family drama starts happening and Aunt Judy has too much wine and gets all handsy with her niece’s boyfriend, I can turn a blind eye and just go wash a plate.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. Enjoy your day and carry on your traditions. And there is one more tradition that I must acknowledge. It is a new one that started last year. It’s the one where you throw a big ass frozen ham into the face of Paula Deen. It’s a damn good tradition. Every time I watch the video, it brings a smile to my face. I am also utterly surprised that Paula didn’t just catch that ham with her teeth in mid air and swallow it whole. Watch the video and give thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.
California Girl
Were they playing "toss the ham"?
carmar76
happy, profitable thanksgiving to you! : )
the good-buy girl
weeellll, Bitch – my dressing was sticky – but the key lime pie martini was devine – which in turn made the dressing delicious (if you know what I mean). And, in the middle of cooking a tornado passed right over our house, we were all scared to death. And, no this was not a figment of my martini imagination (it happened before the martini). Hope you have a great Thanksgiving evening!
bruce
bitchy-it will be awesome to get a monster tip…that didn't have to be pooled…i hope you come up with a cool story or two to share on the blog…hope your day is happyI am thnakful i found your blogbrucestupid stuff i see and hearbruce johnson jadip
an oldish girl
it does suck that you have to work today- but interesting to be an outsider observing another family's drama- sort of like watching tv only way better AND you get cash.have a day- peace-
Bouncin' Barb
Happy Thanksgiving BW…I'm sorry you have to work on this holiday but sadly that's the industry. I've spent many a T-Day alone while hubby was a chef. At least though you will compensated well and who knows maybe even more than you expect. Upper East Side…Sutton Place. Snobs and Bitches!!
Wendy
Haaaa @ the video. You are evil! Hoping you make over a $100.00 tip and wishing you a happy Thanksgiving.
Gabriele Agustini
Happy Thanksgiving to you too!Hopefully the job will be fun – as fun as a 'job' can be.Man, getting hit in the face with a frozen porker – Ouch!! I'm surprised it didn't break her nose!
dirtydisher
Have a good one Bitchy. I hope they tip well and maybe you get some turkey to take home. Aww. I hate Paula…and ham. It couldn't have been more meaningful.