A friend of mine told me of his night out last week when he came across a server who may out bitch even me. David ran the story by me to see if the waiter reacted appropriately or not. Usually, I side with the waiter but I heard him out before I passed judgment.
David was at a very expensive restaurant with a party of about ten or so. They had made a reservation and were there to celebrate a birthday. A cake had been brought to the restaurant before and plenty of money was being spent. According to my friend, the place was really loud because there was an overzealous deejay and it sounds like one of those places that can’t decide if they are a restaurant or a club. It was also very crowded which was keeping the server from getting to all sides of the table. At one point my friend wanted some more water but was seated too far away from the waiter to ask him. Since he didn’t want to yell across the table, he simply made eye contact and mouthed “more water please” while pointing to his empty glass. The waiter put on his “I’m a bitch” hat and yelled back to my friend, “I’m sorry sir, but I don’t speak sign language.” He then turned on a dime and swished off. Wait, what? David told me that the restaurant was kind of a hoity toity place so I am sure the waiter was one of those bitchy ass queens who thinks they are too good for their job. And I can say that because I might be one of those bitchy ass queens who thinks he is too good for his job. I know David and I know that he didn’t mean this in a rude way. Plus he’s British so everything he says sound perfectly polite. He can say, “Pardon me, but I just took a dump on your sofa and I feel just awful about it. My apologies.” And with that accent you just kinda go, “Oh, okay. Thank you. Where are you from?” The table was stunned by the waiter’s response so David called him back over and told him there was need to be so rude. The waiter laughed like he was just kidding and said he would go get the water. Yeah, I’ve tried the laughing thing to make what you said sound like it was a joke when in all actuality it was just plain bitchy. He didn’t bring the water until they were leaving.
So my friend wanted to know if I would have been offended by the way he asked for water and I must say the answer is no. It’s clear when someone is doing something if they are doing it to be dismissive or they are doing it in earnest. I think I would have known why David pointed at the water and wouldn’t have given it a second thought. I feel that the waiter was over his night, knew that this table was having an auto-grat stamped to their bill and didn’t give a shit. We’ve all done it. I confirmed to David that the waiter was just being a prick and encouraged him to let it go. The waiter got his 18% but David told the manager what he did. David felt better, the manager probably just told the waiter to chill out and someone else paid for the bill. All in all, everything worked out fine. But what a bitchy ass waiter. I like him. “I don’t speak sign language.” What a hoot. I’ve totally gotta remember that one.