I have not written for two days because my feelings were so hurt by Anonymous that I have been crying in the corner and cutting myself with razor blades while I turn the lamp on and off for hours at a time. But I am back because I saw something that scared the hell out me. Apparently, gun laws are changing in many states that make it legal to carry a licensed and concealed weapon into bars and restaurants. Now I’m from Texas where guns are pretty much a regular thing. They’re everywhere there. I remember on the first day of deer season some kids would skip class to go hunting with their dads. At birthday parties, you didn’t hit the piñata with an old broom handle. You shot at that bitch with a sawed off shotgun and when it finally burst open, bullets and ammunition fell out of it with a couple of Pixy Stix and a Bazooka Bubblegum thrown in for good measure. Personally, I was never one for guns. I recall getting a BB gun when I was about ten years old. I shot a bird once and when it fell out of the tree and died in front of me I went crying into the house. My Grandma comforted me and my Grandpa rolled his eyes at what a disappointment I was to him. But I dunno how I feel about them being in a restaurant or bar where every Tom, Dick and Dirty Harry can feel free to shoot up the place the second his burger comes out overcooked.
Tennessee is one of four states, along with Arizona, Georgia and Virginia, that recently enacted laws explicitly allowing loaded guns in bars while eighteen other states allow weapons in restaurants that serve alcohol. Scary. Now I guess it all depends on if the servers are allowed to carry guns too. I suppose they will have a legal right to, but maybe the restaurant itself would disallow their employees the option. You know, in the hand book it would say shit like “your hair can’t touch the collar of your shirt” and “you are not allowed to chew gum while on the floor” and “if a customer shoves a gun in your face because you forgot to put a lime in their Diet Coke instead of a lemon, you are shit out luck because your weapon must remain in your locker along with your cell phone and iPod.” Bummer. I understand that people want guns for their own safety. After the recent shooting at The University of Texas, I hear that Governor Rick Perry wants to make guns legal on campuses. He says that if other people would have had guns then they could have stopped the gunman. Really? That makes no sense to me. It would be like the Old West with everyone trying to be the hero but shooting more people in the process.
Now there is no easy answer to this and I do not want to get all political and shit. I just don’t like the idea of some drunk ass kicker who has a gun his pocket being able to have four Jack and Cokes and then getting mad when some other asswipe insults him. And I know the law says that if you have a gun on you, then you aren’t supposed to be drinking alcohol. And I am just sure that people will follow that law. Just like they do with all the other things that are not supposed to happen when drinking alcohol: driving, going to work, drunk texting. It seems like a recipe for disaster. But that’s just me.
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Jack
Ugh. Seriously? Do you not realize the seriously flawed logic is claiming people wont follow one law so you need to enact another?As for the arguments about whether or not armed students will be able to stop school shooters… Well it worked at UT the first time, it worked at Pearl. 😉
Ann Wilkinson
In Utah, it's okay to have a concealed weapon in a school, but I don't think you can carry one into a restaurant. Okay.
I am an English major
"Too" with two "o's."And is the above sentence grammatically correct, Nazi?
sally
"I recall getting a BB gun when I was about ten years old. I shot a bird once and when it fell out of the tree and died in front of me I went crying into the house."This is EXACTLY what happened to my husband the VERY FIRST TIME he shot a BB gun as a boy. And he was just aiming into the sky, not even trying to shoot anything. He was traumatized and to this day doesn't like guns. Just thought you'd like to know you aren't the only one who experienced this trauma!
FPGIRL
Hey Grammar Nazi, get a life and leave our Bitchy Waiter alone! It's just a blog, not English 101. However, if you want to play that game, I will gladly pick apart your post with spelling, improper grammar, as well as punctuation mistakes. I am not an English major, but if you are going to pick at someone, be sure you do so correctly.BW, don't pay him any attention. The rest of us love you to bits and pieces! Rant and rave on!
egbkid
Yet another reason I am glad to live in Canada. 🙂
Practical Parsimony
Oh, pish, posh. No one will drink and carry, just like they don't drink and drive! Grammar Nazi, don't interrupt a distraught man with spelling and usage rules.
I am not a grammar Nazi
This post was really hard to read. First off, "piÑata" is not "piŃata," as someone from Texas would surely know. "PiNata" would also be acceptable in the United States, but if you are going to take the time to be international, do it correctly so those of us learned in Spanish are not confused by your meager attempts. My second area of confusion came from the following line: "Now I guess it all depends on if the servers are allowed to carry guns to." Big no-no there, sir. Never EVER end a sentence with a preposition, such as "to." I'm sure you probably forgot your fifth grade teacher's bickering between massacring innocent critters and standing on your soap box. So let me remind you that this error can easily be fixed by changing your propositional "to" to the adverbial "too," which not only removes the problem of an objectless prposition, but also clarifies the sentence by giving it the meaning you intended. Please, in the future, sir, remember that not all of your readers are as learned as I am and may become confused by your mistakes. Take the time to review your English before writing a blog. Maybe stick to waiting tables. I'd leave the acting out, too. "Too" with two "o's."
Kim H
The beginning of this post … you said you were crying your eyes out because "Anonymous hurt your feelings" … what were you referring to?
Donda
I am sooo glad I am not a mean drunk. OH what am I sayin'? I would rather cutta bitch 🙂
And So She Said...
Thanks for this post. I'm from Houston,TX…. i know all about fools carrying guns, legally and illegally…Just be your amazing self and please save the rants for the blog…we already had that talk about withdrawals…. ;)Be safe, and I'll MISS YOU TILL NEXT TIME!
Vanessa
Yet another reason to drink at home alone.
Anonymous
I currently am a student at UT and it was a scary/sad day when that student brought that AK-47 to school. Rick Perry is an idiot- and I agree that guns should not be brought to schools/restaurants.I love your blog and I've been reading it for awhile now. I also am originally from Houston so I know exactly where that Black Eyed Peas is, where you used to work.Much love from Texas,Hayley
diflemming
I'm only worried about the restaurant and bar staff. Yeah, alcohol and guns don't mix. Actually, not much mixes well with alcohol: guns, driving, emailing, choosing furniture…. Anyway, back to my point. Let the belligerent, armed drunks eliminate each other. It makes the job of natural (de)selection so much easier.
Mary A.
Guns are fine, as long as they can't smoke.(please read that really, really sarcastically OK?)
Xylina Myia
Holy Sheep Shit Batman! I guess they will learn there lesson when someone gets out of hand and shoots up the place. As always the government is one for "jumping the gun" on certain laws and when shit really hits the fan they back track. I for one don't feel comfortable with guns being allowed really any where unless you are a police officer and even then that is a little iffy. You know those police men thinking they are the law and are untouchable. (Pricks) Anyhoot I for one agree that indeed it is a scary thing. It is really sad for the innocent people who are going to be sacrificed as a lesson learned to the government for okaying Guns in bars, restaurants etc. In due time I am sure they will ban it and try to have some fake terrorist attack warning to kind of push this out of the lime light on the news. They always come up with "incidents" when the government fuck's up.
Simple Dude
There seem to be plenty of gun-toting nut job people in the world who are sober so the last thing we need is to add booze to the mix. Oh, and that Anonymous guy sure gets around. Why is he usually such an ass?SDhttp://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/
Anonymous
Statistically speaking, folks that go through the legal requirements to get a carry concealed weapon are extremely unlikely to commit a crime with a weapon.As for restaurants, just because one serves alcohol doesn't mean that every patron will imbibe alcohol. In many states with a concealed carry law, like my own, if you have any alcohol in your system and you pull a weapon, even in a justified situation, you have given up your right to self defense and face charges.In many states, carry concealed laws have been on the books for years and we still haven't seen the "Wild West" that many said we would.I understand that you are uncomfortable with guns. There's certainly nothing wrong with that. You are certainly entitled to your opinion and feelings and they are no better or worse than any other law abiding citizen's feelings and views.That said, as an 11 year veteran of the restaurant trenches, I actually used to wish all restaurant employees could carry a gun openly. "An armed society, is a polite society." – Robert Heinlein.
Anonymous
The thing is…..most of the people that would wave that gun in your face will carry it into the restaurant anyway, legal or not. Not saying I like it, but it's a fact of life.