A Travesty Has Occured

A terrible thing has happened and I can hardly live with myself. How have I made it through 24 years of life ( I was born in 1986, give or take a few years) and not known something of this magnitude? I feel like the rug has been pulled from under me and I don’t know what’s real anymore. Yesterday was National Doughnut Day and nobody fucking told me. And this is a holiday that has been happening since 19 freakin’ 38? According to the vast amount of research I did on Wikipedia, this wonderful event was started to honor the ladies who served doughnuts to the soldiers in World War I. And on a side note, I think one of those soldiers was in my station a few weeks ago. National Doughnut Day happens on the first Friday of every June so I have placed this handy dandy countdown clock here to remind us that on June 3, 2011 we can all have donuts for breakfast, lunch and dinner and when someone gives us the judging evil eye we can say, “fuck off, it’s for the troops.” And then proceed to cram another glazed doughnut into our pie hole.

Apparently Dunkin’ Donuts was even giving away a free doughnut yesterday if you ordered a cup of coffee. This is not right. I could have spent all day yesterday hop, skipping and jumping from Dunkin’ Donuts to Krispy Kreme and filling up on fried dough. My arteries are royally pissed off that they missed this wonderful opportunity. This will never happen again. It is now marked as permanent alarm in my phone, the date on the calendar is already circled, there is a string around my finger and I have a tattoo on my face that says “don’t forget doughnut day.” But don’t worry. The tattoo is in a real fancy font so even though I have a tattoo about doughnuts on my face, I’m still classy.

This clock is set to New York City time, just so you know.

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19 thoughts on “A Travesty Has Occured

  1. Corina 1.0

    WHEW Bitchy! I thought I was the only one who hadn't heard of Free Donut Day. As a common sewer err I mean connoisseur of donuts, I too felt ripped off. And now that I know the countdown to next year's Free Donut Day is your capable hands, I can sleep easier not having to worry about missing it next year.

    Reply
  2. jenn@peacelovemommy

    im freaking LMFAO!!! unfortunately :for you: I knew about donut day, and dunkin's giveaway and never made it myself so i ask you…whats worse..knowing and not having the time to go get a 100% free donut, or not knowing and not missing anything? hmmm. tough call! hahashhh (i hate donuts…love coffee tho)next year im with you though and i will be keepin my eyes on that countdown! a girl has kids man, free is free and food is food(new follower)

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  3. Jessica

    I'm fat enough to be friends on facebook with Krispy Kreme so I knew about it. When you get to that level, you will be in the know!

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  4. EnnKay

    I propose a Rememberance of Donut Day Day…for all the donut days we have lost. What do you guys think? Those creme filled happy little suckers deserve another chance.

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  5. goldNboi7

    There should be a movie made about the leadup to next year's donut festivities from your perspective…I can see it, a training montage of you eating funnel cake and french toast to prepare your circulatory system for the bite of its life, a cgi image of them slowly hardening to the texture of a garden hose from the constant workout, and then the grand finale, a mad dash to every Dunkin in the metro area while secretly emptying all the take a penny trays to pay for your next coffee to give you the right all those free donuts…and of course a salute to the troops in the credits…it's got blockbusteer written all over it!

    Reply
  6. Ann Wilkinson

    so that's why i was offered a donut with my iced coffee yesterday (and my bad for turning it down). i thought i was just extra cute being all sweaty yesterday afternoon in bklyn. thanks for the countdown clock. i love your blog, and congratulations on being a "blog of note". well-deserved.from an appreciater of wait-staff everywhere.

    Reply
  7. Cheryl

    Another great day we don't celebrate over here. I think Australia is just deprived! Oh come on – they want me to type in coarkpoo to ensure I'm human – as a human I surely object to coarkpoo!

    Reply
  8. Roxie

    At least u guys have got Donut days over there. We don't even have dough days let alone donut days 🙁 That's gotta be the greatest travesty of them all.Come to think of it, maybe I should suggest a shawarma day. Lord knows, we got plenty of those over here. Yep, I believe I'll suggest that.

    Reply

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