I am a firm believer in giving. I have been known to volunteer my time and help underprivileged kids with art projects. I have assisted the elderly. I often donate to various causes. One time I even gave a sandwich to a man who had no legs. However, when I am at work, I am there for me. A few days ago the club hosted a benefit for a local school. Parents of the students came in to perform while other parents came in to watch. The proceeds of the show went directly to the school, and judging by most of these parents they could have just written out some checks and been done with it. When it came time for me to give out their checks with the cover charge and the two-drink minimum it turns out that a lot of the folks didn’t think they needed to leave a tip because it was for a good cause. Excuse me, I was not volunteering my time for the benefit. I just showed up at work like I always do (and when I say “always” I mean once or twice a week…) and ended up serving a benefit. I don’t give a shit about the quality of the kids’ athletic equipment or if they get to take music classes or any other goddamn thing. I am at work. For tips. That shit pissed me off. By the end of the night I felt like there should be a fucking plaque posted above the school gymnasium with my name on it for all the time and money I ended up donating to that fucking school. Now don’t get me wrong. You know I loves me the kids. I think they should have everything their precious little hearts desire. But I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids. Isn’t enough that I pay taxes that go to public schools? But I had to wait tables and repeatedly get stiffed by parents because it was a benefit. And I send out especially bitchy vibes to the three lesbians at table two who rang up a $165.00 tab and left poop squat. Heather has two cheap ass mommies. Now don’t me wrong. I loves me the lesbians, but those particular ones? Nope. Don’t like em.