We all know that I can’t stand stupid ass people in my station. I just don’t deal well with stupidity and that ain’t easy because in a restaurant you get all types of stupid. From kinda dumb to fucking retarded in the brain. A few years ago when I worked at the Marriott, I came across a real tool head. It was brunch and I was doing my thing. It being a buffet, my thing was usually hanging out in the sidestand and eating croissants and waiting until someone was ready for their check. Now the Marriott is a real fine hotel, doncha know? When someone ordered a waffle or pancakes, it was served with an individual glass bottle of real honest to goodness maple syrup. And it was kept under a heat lamp so it was warm when the customer got it. If that ain’t fancy, then I don’t know what the fuck is, right? The bottle also had our Brooklyn logo on it so a lot of times people would want them as souvenirs. I question anyone who wants a food product as a souvenir, but people did it all the time.
One day this man called me over to discuss his waffle. He wanted some more syrup. I scanned his table and saw that he only had his one empty bottle so I was going to go get him another one. If someone had a full one already, I would just tell them they could have another one when they were finished with the first one. There would be no souvenir syrups on my watch. He stopped me before I could go to the kitchen. “But do you have any real syrup?” I looked at him and asked him to repeat the question. “I want some real syrup.” Still unsure of what he wanted, I told him that the syrup we used was 100% maple syrup from Vermont and was a very high quality product. “Naw,naw, naw. Real syrup. Like Aunt Jemimah or Log Cabin syrup. Real syrup.” I looked at the man in a sad way and felt bad that he didn’t know the difference between syrup and crap. I just sighed. And said, “Oooh now I understand. No sir, I’m sorry. All we have is 100% maple, we don’t have any real syrup.”