I am moved to write because today some lady threw her baby into a mega-stroller and rolled it into my station. The baby looked like it was a few weeks old and I don’t know why the fuck anyone would drag their weeks old baby to eat at my place, but she did. Actually I should say her nanny did. Mother just talked on the phone and took cell phone pictures of it. Maybe she was Grandmother. Bitch looked old. First thing: “Can you turn down the music? The baby is asleep.” Whatever. Point of story is when they left. I went to clear the table and there was a tiny diaper rolled into a ball that was sitting with the dirty dishes and used napkins. Like I won’t notice a fucking dirty diaper. So I have decided to make a list of things to not leave at your table:
- diapers
- snot rags
- babies
- trash from other restaurants
- hair pieces
- magazines that I don’t want to read like Time or Ladies Home Journal
- crappy cell phones
- your bad attitude
- odor
- junk mail
- your phone number (ugly people only)
- apple cores, banana peels or sunflower seeds
- used gum
- gum of any kind
- dirty diapers
Laurie
We use cloth linens where I work. I swear to God, the next filthy slob that blows their nose with the cloth napkin that I am expected to pick up at the end of the festivities will be shot between the eyes. I want to don a pair of latex gloves and pick up their phlegm filled napkins with a set of tongs. Yes dear customers, this is a HINT I DO in fact mind picking up your snot rags. It’s so fucking disgusting.
Tarrakona
Bitchy, you rock. Long-time reader, first time poster. I wondered why the staff at one of my fav restaurants seemed so confused when I insisted on finding a trash can to personally dispose of my “allergy” napkins. The airhead who left the diaper is one of those morons who should not have bred. Talk about trash, but she was the epitome.
Masquerade
You should add 'dental floss'.Yeah.
Anonymous
Absolutely filthy business.
Tempy
Ah! I love your blog!!!(Tempy is Katharine, your Brooklyn dog/actor friend!)