Perhaps you have noticed in previous posts that I hate children in my restaurant. This applies to anyone under the age of 18 and pretty much anyone over the age of 18 as well. Recently I had a table of five girls who were all about 15 years old and were hopped up on hormones and the Jonas Brothers. They crammed into my prime real estate booth and started yapping away about who has the prettiest hair and who had a crush on who and who would get their boobies first. I know they will not order much and then they will not tip and they will keep real customers from sitting there instead. One table that was right beside them asked to be moved because they couldn’t tolerate the overwhelming stench of annoying that was coming from the prepubescent bitches at Table 204. One of the little darlings announced that SHE was ready to order as I breezed by. I snapped back that I would not be taking an order until all of them were ready to order. Finally, they reached their decision. I heard one girl say she had ten dollars to spend so I was not expecting much. The order: five waters, two orders of wings, a quesadilla and an order of fries. Wow. How would the kitchen ever be able to accommodate such a vast array of food? When their food was ready, I threw it onto the table along with the check. Done with them. On to real customers. They eventually handed me their money and told me they did not need change. The bill was $24.57 and they gave me $25.00. What would I ever do with that forty-three cent tip? Three of the girls left while two stayed to go to the ladies room to put on more lip gloss and brush their hair. They left their things at the table. I started to clear it and noticed a cute little lipstick on the table. I pushed it under a plate so maybe they would not see it and then just leave it so I could feel okay about throwing it away. I eyed the cell phone and decided that was too mean even for me. Their bags were strewn all over the seats and on the floor. A light bulb went off. I ran to get some honey from the kitchen and headed back to the table to continue clearing it. I kneeled down to pick up some discarded french fries and at the same time slightly lifted the backpack off the ground. I poured the honey all over the floor. I gently placed the backpack back onto the floor. And the honey. People really should be more careful about placing their things on the floor of a restaurant because you never know what might get on them. I went along clearing the table as the girls came from the bathroom. “Bye bye,” I said. “And thanks!” Five minutes later I came out of the kitchen and they were gone, sticky backpack and all. They did leave one thing behind though: a cute little lipstick that was hidden behind the one plate left on the table. Into the trash it went. I felt better.
Revenge is Sweet and Sticky
January 9, 2009
Alyx
Wish I had the balls you do. Thank you for being a hero. Lol
Jen
I just started reading about a month ago.. decided to start from the beginning. Should have put honey under the phone!!
sweet lou
i cant say i would have been as well behaved as you were i might have not even served them coming up with some bizarre restaurant policy as to why
Anonymous
immature asshole. it will be a pleasure exposing you. thanks so much for naming all your past employers.
sweet lou
your a faggot
Daddy of Anonymous
Immature would be working for people that do not pay you, and not finding a way to make yourself feel better in order to remain serving the people that do pay you for your work. Good luck exposing him, I’m sure that will take you far Matlock. Ever heard of capitalization? Fucking idiot.
taxic
You are an evil evil bitch person. I like it.